Alone and Confused
by amuthafuckinglamp
Summary: What happens when Kurt's dad kicks him out of the house for being gay. We all know that Kurt is strong but will he be strong enough to handle that.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt's elation at winning the football match was short lived. It felt like a lie. It just wasn't him. He knew that his Dad was proud of him but he was proud of a lie. Kurt wasn't a football player. Plus it wrecked havoc with his skin that he was currently trying to reprimand.

He heard footsteps on his stairs and saw his father's reflection in his mirror.

"Night time skincare is a big part of my post game ritual." He explained to his father.

"I don't know what to say about that but uh ... I was really proud of you tonight Kurt. I wish your Mum would have been there, you know I mean, alive."

"Thanks." Kurt replied. His father was only proud of him now that he was on the football team. He had never reacted this way for anything to do with glee club or any other not manly thing Kurt happened to enjoy.

Burt turned to leave but was stopped by Kurt calling out, "Dad."

He turned back around to face Kurt as Kurt stood up to address his father properly.

"I have something I want to say." His father took a few steps closer to him. "I'm glad that you're proud of me but I don't want to lie anymore being a part of the glee club and football has really showed me that I can be anything and what I am is," He took a deep breath. Now was the moment of truth.

"I'm gay."

Burt took a deep breath. "I knew it." He thought.

"You have 24 hours to pack your things. By this time tomorrow I want you out of this house and I never want to see you again." Burt said calmly.

Kurt stood frozen still. This is what he had always feared. Rejection from the one person in his life who he knew loved him. "What but Dad I..."

"HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE YOUR MOTHER AND I LIKE THAT? WHAT WOULD SHE SAY IF SHE WERE HERE! THIS IS AN INSULT TO HER MEMORY."

Kurt started to cry, silent tears rolling down his face.

"I THOUGHT THAT FOOTBALL WOULD STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT AND YOU COULD QUIT THAT GLEE CRAP AND FINALLY BECOME NORMAL. I HAVE SPENT THE LAST TWO YEARS TRYING TO PUSH YOU INTO BEING STRAIGHT AND NOW YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A FALIURE AS A FATHER AND I WON'T HAVE IT. THE SOONER YOU LEAVE THIS HOUSE THE BETTER. I am going upstairs I don't expect to see you EVER again."

"Dad I..." He said as he lunged forward to grab Burt's hand.

Burt wrenched his hand from him and spun around, pushing Kurt to the ground.

"YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. I HAVE NO SON." He said before exiting the room.

Kurt lay there staring at the door. He couldn't remember at what time the tears stopped falling and his eyes drifted close.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, when Kurt woke up, he couldn't remember why he was on the floor of his room. The he wondered why his father wasn't waking him up as usual. All of a sudden last night came flooding back to him.

In a daze he picked himself up off of the floor and went to look at his bedside clock. He only had 5 minutes until he had to leave for school. For once he didn't care that he didn't have time to do his morning skin routine or that he hadn't even finished last night's one. He didn't care that he was walking upstairs in his clothes from last night. He just went up and grabbed a piece of toast before going to get his keys so he could drive to school.

They weren't there.

In their place was a note that said: I paid for this bloody car so there is no way you are taking it with you. It belongs to my son and he can have it back when I see him again.

Kurt just stood there staring at it before turning around and walking out the door. He didn't know of any bus he could take to get there so he walked, eyes fixed ahead as if he had a goal, a destination that he had to get to. There were no tears, no emotions on his face, it was like he had accepted his fate and was now going to go through life blank and emotionless to save himself the pain.

Kurt arrived at school late. He didn't care. It didn't matter. He walked into class and handed the teacher his late slip without even an apology. Nobody cared. Nobody looked at him. Nobody asked him what was wrong despite the face he knew his eyes were still red and puffy. Nobody seemed to care.

He sat in class counting down the hours until he would be homeless. Normally he would worry about bursting into tears but it seemed like there were no tears left for him to cry. He felt like a zombie. He was just going through the motions of the day but there was no soul behind it.

Nobody even said a word to him until half way through glee club.

"Kurt, are you okay? You haven't sung, let alone said a word, all lesson." Mr Schue asked with a mildly concerned look on his face.

He didn't reply. He couldn't have the entire glee club knowing what he was. It was bad enough that he had to tell Mercedes. She was looking at him now, alerted to his sad demeanour by Mr. Schue's comment. She tried to get his attention but he just continued staring at the wall opposite, as if somehow the answers to his problems would appear written there like magic.

Kurt shrugged and Mr Schue turned his attention back to Rachel.

When glee club ended he sat there as everyone left before slowly gathering his things and moving out to the door. As soon as he exited he ran into Mercedes and Mr Schue talking in low, worried voices but he just ignored them and walked right on past. When they saw him they ran after him.

"Kurt, come to my office please."

Kurt just nodded and allowed himself to be guided to Mr Schue's office by Mercedes.

He sat down in a chair facing the desk with Mercedes sitting next to his, grasping his hand, and Mr Schue sitting behind the desk.

"Kurt what is wrong with you? You were so happy yesterday and now..?"

"I told my father I was gay, he said I have 24 hours to leave his house. I only have 6 hours left." Kurt said in a barely audible whisper.

Then he broke. All the tears that he hadn't shed today were suddenly there and he was powerless to stop them. He sank from his chair onto the floor and curled up in the foetus position, trying to hold himself together as he felt the whole world breaking apart.

Mercedes instantly sprung up and kneeled down next to him. She started stroking is back and trying to comfort him but she knew that it was useless. His father had just kicked him out. How was he supposed to be okay?

Mr Schue sat in stunned silence from his desk. What was he supposed to do? He hadn't even known for sure that Kurt was gay and now his own father had kicked him out. Mercedes looked at him and they shared a panicked, worried glance.

"Take him home." Mr Schue mouthed.

Mercedes nodded. Mr Schue came around the desk and once Kurt's helpless sobs had started to fade they helped him out of Mr Schue's office and down the corridor to the parking lot.

When they got there Mercedes asked Kurt where his car was and he just shook his head.

"Here let me drive you home." Mr Schue offered. Mercedes let out a grateful sigh of relief.

The drive home was awkward to say the least. When they finally got to Kurt's house and got out of the car Mr Schue gave Mercedes his number and told her to call if anything went wrong.

Luckily Burt wasn't home so Mercedes manages to help Kurt down to his room.

"What am I going to do M? Kurt asked softly as he collapsed onto his bed.

"Kurt, I will call my Mum and you can come and stay with us but... I will have to tell her why you got kicked out... is that okay?"

"Sure. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't care who knows. Half the school already suspects something. Kurt said in a dry throaty voice.

Ten minutes later she got off of the phone with half a smile on her face. "She says you can come and live with us and don't worry both of my parents are totally cool with the whole gay thing."

Kurt gave her a weak smile. Mercedes just stared at him in pity. "Come on Kurt we need to get all of your stuff ready to go Mum is coming to get us in 2 and a half hours so let's go."

They both began slowly sorting through all of Kurt's things and packing them up. It was a quiet process, neither of them really believing that this was really happening. Both were trying to pretended that it wasn't.

Kurt kept all of his clothes and bedding and posters. Eventually they were left with a bare room stripped to its essentials. They slowly dragged everything outside and sat waiting for Mercedes Mum.

Burt pulled up. Mercedes could feel Kurt tense up next to her. Burt just got out of the car and walked into the house, not giving Kurt a second glance.

Kurt decided that he didn't care. It didn't matter. He had not father now. He had no one. He was all alone. Nobody could make him feel better or worse anymore. Without his father he didn't know how he was supposed to live. For the thousandth time that day he wished that his mother were here yet was glad that she wasn't. He didn't think he could stand it if she had rejected him too but he liked to think that she wouldn't have. Unfortunately he could never know.

A few minutes later Mercedes mother pulled up to the side of the road and pulled Kurt into a hug despite the fact that they had never met. Quickly they loaded Kurt's stuff into the car and hopped in.

As they pulled away Kurt looked back at his house and saw his father staring out of the living room window with tears rolling down his face.

And then he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So yea basically I am loosely following the plot of the actual show from the end of preggers so yea here you go. This is the first part of the Rhodes not taken.**

**To Fiona who said: ****This story is great! Why arnt there more reviews!, **

**I don't know but maybe that is something you can try to fix :D, thank you though :D**

xxx

xxx

He couldn't sleep. How was he supposed to sleep? When he was in an unfamiliar house of someone who was only kind of his friend. When he knew that his father was a 15 minute drive away and he would never see him again. When he knew that this was only the starting point and it was only going to get worse. How could it ever get better?

xxx

At some point he must have drifted off because before he knew it there was a knock on the door.

"Kurt, do you think I can come in and talk to you?"

"Sure Mrs Jones." He mumbled just loud enough for her to hear.

She walked in cautiously. She wasn't exactly sure what Kurt needed from her right now and she didn't know enough about him to know how he would react to certain things so she wanted to be careful. No point in causing the boy more trouble.

"Kurt, feel free to call me Ange if you want to but uhm I have something I need to ask you. Do you want to go to school today or you know you can stay here if you want. My husband and I have to work so you will be alone but if that is what you need then I guess that will be okay." She finished lamely as she stood just inside the door.

Kurt took a moment to think it over. He could be at Mercedes house all by himself with nothing to do but mope or he could go to school and at least be slightly distracted by the drama going on.

"School." He put simply, not feeling the need to use more words than necessary.

"Great well it is 7:30 so we shall leave in half an hour. I will drop you and Mercedes off for this week okay and then maybe later you can get the bus or something. Does that sound okay?"

"Sure." He said without much emotion.

"Okay well come get breakfast when you want." She said as she turned and walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Kurt lay there for a few seconds before resigning himself to the fact that he would have to get out of bed at sometime. He got out of bed and moved over to his suitcase and quickly threw something on. He went down into the bathroom down the hall, hoping that nobody was using it.

He was in luck. He quickly ran a comb through his hair and pulled something from his bathroom bag and slapped it on his face. Whatever. Did it really matter if his skin was soft anyway? It's not like anyone would ever be touching it long enough to notice.

He looked in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes and it looked like he would soon have a pimple right on the end of his nose. Great.

With a sigh he walked out of the bathroom almost running into Mercedes who was waiting outside.

"Sorry." He mumbled. He felt so bad for just coming and living in her house but didn't know what to say or do... he needed a place to stay after all and it's not like he had any other options, it was lucky that he had this one. He didn't say any of this out loud. What was the point.

"Nothing to be sorry for Kurt it is your bathroom now too. Just don't worry about it." She said with what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

Kurt raised the corners of his mouth ever so slightly and then went back down the hall to his room to find his shoes.

xxx

Half way through the day he was regretting his decision. This was horrible. The idiots around him were just too much to handle. Why did they have to be such douche bags all the time? It was just unfair. They were all flaunting their happiness in front of him. Them with their mothers and their fathers and their friends and their relationships and him... all alone.

It was something he would have to get used to.

But at least he had his singing. Singing that reminded him of his mother and of how truly special he was. Secretly he was hopeful that he would be getting a solo soon but he would never admit that out loud.

He walked in to glee club finally putting a small smile on his face. At least here most people didn't seem to care. He was the first one there of course. Everyone else would be chatting at their lockers or finding their friends or something. Oh well that meant that he got to sit wherever he wanted. And wasn't that a good thing.

Slowly everyone walked in and took their chairs. A few gave him looks of confusion wondering if he was going to talk today or not. As Finn walked in, holding Quinn's hand, Finn gave him a small nod and smile and he felt his heart speed up a beat before scolding himself.

Finn is not gay and taken. He chanted to himself as he tried not to think to hard about Finn and how kind he was and how he was so... Not gay and Taken, Not gay and Taken.

"Alright." Said Mr Schue. "Now because Rachel is not here we are going to need a new female lead."

Kurt had totally forgotten about that. Oh how he wished he could go out for that lead with Finn ... Not Gay and Taken pull yourself together Hummel.

"Okay so I was thinking that Quinn could-"

"What about me Mr Schue? Why can't I have that lead?" Mercedes interjected.

Mr Schue faltered for a bit. "Well uhm I thought we would give it to Quinn because she is new and all and needs to build up her confidence... right Quinn?" He said looking hopefully in her direction.

"Totally."

"Great Quinn. Okay everyone into your positions and Quinn you just take Rachel's place."

Xxx

Half an hour later and Quinn was running out of the room half way through the number. 'Probably in embarrassment' Kurt thought. He decided that he needed to speak up. They needed Rachel.

"Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?" He asked.

"Your sexuality." Santana said back to him with a smirk.

He faltered. Trying to keep a straight face. He knew everyone was looking at him. If he reacted it would only confirm their suspicions, not that it mattered anymore, but now was not the time. They needed Rachel so they could win and so he would know what it felt like to be a star.

Luckily Finn stepped in to save the day, "You mean Rachel right? We need her Mr Schue, we can't do it without her."

"That's not true. Maybe we will have to layer Santana and Mercedes voices over Quinn's solo but... we will be fine."

"Maybe for invitationals but not for sectionals and certainly not for regionals." Artie said. Kurt knew this was true. They were nothing without Rachel.

"The wheelchair kid is right," Puck said rather rudely. "That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire but she can sing."

"Rachel left guys. You just have to accept this. Okay I think that is enough for today. Lets go everyone, see you tomorrow."

Kurt sighed and got up. Finally. That was the longest most painful glee club ever. He followed Mercedes out the door and waited for her to stop chatting with Tina.

Finally fifteen minutes later she was done and ready to go so they walked out of the door together and went to her house. He still couldn't think of it as his despite what she said. It still didn't feel like home.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **

**Hi so the**_**asshole**_**who said: It's Schue not shu you retard. Can I just say that thank you for letting me know and I will go and fix that but a) you can try to not be an asshole about it because that is really rude and will get you nowhere and life and b) does it really matter, you knew what I meant**

**Did you know that Ghoti can be pronounced fish?**

**the gh = f as in rouGH**

**the o = i as in wOmen**

**the ti = sh as in naTIon**

**So yeah the English language is stupid so forgive me for making mistakes every now and then. Btw yea that is not actually a real word just proof of the complicated idiocy that is the English language.**

**Anyway thank you to everyone who is giving me nice reviews and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism back to the story.**

He woke up. He got out of bed. He used the bathroom. He did part of his moisturising routine. As he looked in the mirror he promised himself that today he would be better. Today he would make an effort to be happy. He couldn't let one person define his life even if that person was his own father.

He heard a knock on the door. "Kurt, how long are you going to be?"

"Sorry Mercedes I was just finishing my moisturising routine." He said as he opened the door. "I don't want to be in your way."

"No Kurt it is fine I just really have to pee so if you don't mind..." She said as she walked past him and closed the door.

Kurt sighed and made his way back to "his" room which was really the spare room. He opened up his closet. He should at least make an effort to wear something nice right? He decided on a pair of Blaine jeans and a t-shirt with a nice bright blue Blazer on top. 'You almost look okay, apart from the state of you face' he thought to himself.

His stomach growled and he realised that he hadn't eaten anything since "that night" as he now referred to it in his head. How he had gone that long without eating he didn't know yet. He had to eat though, he knew that much, so he went and he grabbed a slice of toast and looked around the unfamiliar kitchen trying to find something to put on it.

After opening what seemed like every draw and cupboard he finally found the pantry with a small amount of spreads to choose from. He picked Nutella, his guilty pleasure, and sat there eating it while Mercedes and her mother rushed around trying to get everything done.

"Crap we are so late!" Said Mrs Jones, no Ange Kurt corrected in his head.

"Uhm is there any way I can help?" He asked, feeling guilty for sitting there nibbling on a piece of toast.

"No Kurt honey don't worry this is a regular morning for us! Yesterday was a miracle to be honest. Just sit there and make sure you are ready to leave when we are." She said as she ran out of the kitchen again.

Sit there and be ready to leave, yea he could do that. Ten minutes later she ran in yelleing "Let's go lets go lets go" So he jumped up and grabbed his sachel and followed them out the door.

They only just made it to school in time. As he ran into his French class just before the bell rang his teacher gave him a glare at his _almost_ lateness. His face sank as he noticed that the only available seat was next to homeless Brett. Great.

"Now here are your tests, you have the entire period to do it in." The teacher said as she walked around. "No cheating okay, your test will be ripped to shreds if you do."

Oh. No. The test. The fricking French test! He had completely forgotten about that. French was the only subject he was proud of because of the fact that he had straight A's in the subject but as he turned over the paper he could see that that was about to change. Over a years of work broken.

He filled in all of the easy questions but knew that he had skipped enough hard ones that though he would pass an A was well beyond his reach. He sighed and got out his drawing pad and decided to finish the drawing he started last night.

He didn't quite know how it was going to turn out yet. When he drew it seemed like something took over and he wasn't in control, unless he was sketching clothing designs but that was different, he let his mind almost switch off as his hands took over and transformed the piece of paper into something he could be happy about.

It was good for him, it allowed him to switch off. Slowly he realised that he was drawing a scene that he vaguely remembered from his childhood, his mother pushing him on the swings at the local park. He smiled because he could remember that day, it was the first day he had thought of a boy in any way other than friendly.

After he had played on the swing he had wanted to play on the see-saw but you needed two people and so he had gone over to one of the boys who was playing in the sandbox alone and tapped him on the shoulder "Hi my name is Kurt Hummel. Do you want to come and play on the see-saw with me?"

"My name is Harry and yes please." The boy had said as he turned around to look at Kurt. Kurt could remember thinking that this boy looked really cute and he blushed as he grabbed the boys hand and led him over to the swings.

They had played on it for almost an hour until Harry's dad had come over and told him it was time to go home. They had climbed off and Harry had come over and gave him a hug and said "Maybe I will see you here sometime."

"I come here all the time so yes maybe."

"Cool." He said and then left with his father.

Of course Kurt had never seen him again because Kurt had never gone back to that playground. 4 days later his mother had died.

Kurt's drawing faltered as he went to draw his mothers face. He realised that he could no longer picture it clearly with a happy smile. All he could think of was that she would be so upset if she knew about how he was gay. He could picture her mouth turned upside-down into a frown and that was it.

The bell for the end of period rang and so he put it away and brought his test up to the front of class.

Maybe tomorrow would be better then because today was definitely not.

xxx

If he couldn't find peace in drawing today maybe he could find it in glee he thought as he walked into glee club and took his usual seat. Everyone was talking about what they were going to do without Rachel and wondering why Quinn had run off to the bathroom to vomit so promptly during the last rehearsal.

Though Kurt was admittedly curious he just couldn't bring himself to say anything. These things were so petty. Its not like she had just been kicked out of her house. She was slightly ill and she was the talk of the glee club and he just got kicked out of his house and only Mercedes cared... and she didn't even seem to care that much. She was already acting like everything was okay.

Finn walked into the room and instantly everyone was asking him questions about her which he tried to shrug off. As soon as he got to his seat Quinn entered and instantly everyone was quiet.

Quinn's confident walk faltered a bit as she looked around and saw everyone staring at her. She glared at Finn, obviously thinking that it was his fault. She opened her mouth to ask what the hell was going on when Mr. Schue walked in followed by a woman.

She was short, possibly even shorter than Rachel, and was probably older the Schue. Everyone looked around in confusion as the Blonde woman smiled at them and even tossed a wink in Puck's direction.

"Everybody please welcome April Rhodes. She is the newest member of the New Directions."

Kurt was confused. What was going on. He zoned out as everyone started blabbering and tried to think of ways they could get Rachel back. He felt a special connection to that girl for some reason and he knew that they needed her.

All of a sudden she was singing Maybe This Time. She could sing. But she was no Rachel, or at least he thought, she just lacked something. Rachel would have sung that song so much better.

He looked around at everyone else who seemed to be thinking along the same lines of him. Also it was weird to have an old person with them. Mr Schue was bad enough with his old fashioned ideas and old fashioned dance moves. If he had someone else they would never hear any post 80's music ever again.

She finished with a dramatic Rachelesque-arms-in-the-air-while-belting-out-the-last-notes finish and looked around at them.

There was an awkward silence. Nobody knew what to say. It was good but it didn't seem right.

She was no Rachel.

After an awkward silence she said "Stick that in your pipe and smoke it." and promptly turned and walked out of the door.

Mr Schue looked at us and said "Nice one guys! She was our one chance at winning without Rachel." And then turned and followed her out. What happened to all that we can do it without her crap.

"Well as much as I would like to stay here I don't so goodbye." Kurt said after a few minutes and he walked out to find Rachel and beg her to come back.

He headed towards the auditorium hoping she was there rehearsing. I was in luck. I could hear her singing from outside. Funnily enough she was singing the same song that April or June or whoever had just sung.

He pushed open the door and was just about to enter when he was grabbed and pulled away from the door. Fearing the worst he brought his hands up to protect his face however it was unecassary.

"Don't you dare go and ask her to come back. She is with me now not your pathetic little glee club." Said Sandy Ryerson once he had released Kurt.

"I was not going to do that." He lied. "I was just going to ask her if she wanted to hang out this weekend."

"Don't lie to me. If I even hear you asking her to come back then you will regret it." He said and then turned and walked away.

Kurt was not overly scared but he would still rather not risk it tonight. He walked away vowing to talk to her tomorrow.

He went outside to find Mercedes standing outside leaning against her car talking to some guy. Part of him was glad that it meant her brief and absurd crush on him seemed to be over but the bigger part of him just made him feel alone and upset at the fact that already she was able to find someone else.

For the hundredth time he wondered if there was ever going to be someone for him. He slowed down his walk so that their conversation would be over by the time he got there. Sure enough by the time he got to the car she was waving goodbye at him with a dopey smile on her face.

"Well?" He asked.

"He asked me out, Friday night, he will come to our performance and then take me out to breadstix."

"That is great Mercedes. I am happy for you." He said whilst trying to pretend that he was as excited as she was.

Unfortunately she picked up on his pathetic excuse for happiness and put her arm around his waist saying "It is okay Kurt, you will find someone eventually. Your Mr Right will come along sooner than you know."

"I hope you are right."

"Same. Now can we go via the mall? I need a new outfit for Friday night."

"That sounds great." Kurt said. Fashion. That was something he could do.

Xxx

Mercedes was in the changing room trying on her next outfit when this gorgeous boy walked in. He was tall and wearing a tight shirt that showed off his strong arms. His hair was a honey blonde that was just long enough to flow in the non-existant wind but not too long so as to look idiotic. He walked up to the counter and leaned over it and 'damn did he have a nice ass' Kurt thought.

Unfortunatly he looked around and looked at Kurt before he could advert his eyes. He walked over to where he was sitting and stood staring him down.

"Hi My name-"

"You little fag don't you dare stare at me. Your kind deserves to go and rot in hell."

"The hell did you just say to him?"

"He was staring at me it was creepy."

"What like the way you stare at girls. I know your type you jerk so how dare you even be rude to him. You can leave now." She said. Sure she was shorter than him but the powerful anger that emanated from her was enough to make him take a step back.

"Fine whatever I don't want to even be in the same shop as a queer." He said turning on his heel and leaving.

"Kurt are yo-"

"That outfit looks great on you. You should get that one."

She looked at him quizzically before giving him a small smile. "Thanks Kurt. I'll go change back into my regular clothes then we can go home."

"You're welcome." He said as she walked back into the dressing room. He made sure to keep his eyes trained on a photo of some models that was hanging up in front of his chair and completely ignored the group of teenagers who walked into the store.

Eventually she came out and they got her outfit and left the mall as quickly as possible

xxx

There was a knock on his door. "Kurt do you want to talk about it."

"No thanks Mercedes I will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am."

"Okay well if you ever need anyone to talk to you know where my room is. Or my mum would always be happy to talk to you."

"Yes sure great."

"Night Kurt."

"Night." He said. She left the door open as if hoping that it would make him want to walk out of it and come see her. He got up and shut it. His problems were bad enough. He didn't want to burden anyone else with them. It was bad enough that he was living here he couldn't start being a burden who complained every time someone recognised him for what he truly was. A faggot.


	5. Chapter 5

Hummel tyres and lube flashed past the window, making Kurt rethink his bus route. It was too painful to be reminded of his father every time he caught the bus into school so he made a mental note to Google bus routes and find one that bypassed it. Yawning, he and once again questioned his motives to coming into school at this ungodly hour.

'Rachel. We need Rachel' he thought to himself. Rachel was sure to be rehearsing before school, she was such a perfectionist any time not rehearsing seemed like a waste to her, but Sandy was so lazy he would be home asleep. It was the perfect time for a sneak attack.

Walking through the parking lot up to the school he realised that he had never been here this early. It was so quiet and peaceful, the complete opposite to how it normally. Normally he was too busy rushing from his car, he no longer had, to the school in order to avoid getting slushied. There were no jocks milling around their cars looking for victims who were not in groups to pick on. There was a group of math nerds who made sure to all arrive at the exact same time every day so that they could walk together which was normally enough to avoid getting attacked. They always go for the one with no friends to protect them. They always go for Kurt.

This was the difference between him and everybody else. They all had cliques, groups, teams, family. He had nobody. Sure he had a few people who were kind of his friends in that they talked to him on occasion but they had their own cliques to hang out with while he was left sitting alone in the corner of the lunch room or walking down the corridor all by himself with nobody to support him. The only time he wasn't invisible was when he was the jocks number one target. Those were his only two social settings and he hated it.

He hated that none of this was his fault. There was nothing he could do to stop being gay, he had tried, yet they continued to mercilessly taunt him and beat him and take his things. He had been able to take it when he knew he could come home to a family and a father who loved him but now without that Kurt felt more alone than ever.

That had to change. The one way to do it was to make glee popular and for that they needed to win and for that they needed Rachel. He needed to be able to walk through the halls with confidence, with people looking at him with respect. He was tired of being the target.

He was about to walk into the auditorium when a voice called out his name. He turned around and saw June… no April walking towards him.

"Hey cutie howz about you come with me?" She said grabbing his arm and dragging him after her not really giving him a choice in the matter. It may be early enough that school hadn't started but even he could tell that she was already a little tipsy. Disgraceful really. She led him to the glee room and sat him down before she started pulling stuff out of a bag.

"Uhm what is going on?" Kurt asked. "I mean April why are you even talking to me; you know that I am gay right? I am not going to sleep with you or anything." He was already quite wary of her trying to take Rachel's place.

"Honey EVERYBODY knows that you are gay. It radiates off of you in the same way that fun!, and excitement!, radiate off of me! Here drink this." She said shoving a thermos into his hands. He took it and smelt the contents, he couldn't be sure but he was pretty sure there was alcohol in that. Scratch that, with April there was a 100% chance that this thing was full of it.

"It smells like my Aunt Mildred."

"Just drink it." She said as she looked at him eagerly.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because you need to loosen up and have more fun. Stop crying over the little things. So what your father doesn't love you. Who cares? Mine doesn't love me and I turned out all right huh? Just drink it kid."

He looked at her knowing that she wasn't going to let him leave until he did. Hesitantly he raised the cup up to his lips.

"Sweet, with a bit of an afterburny taste."

"Now just a few swigs of that every day before school and you will have all the courage you need to be yourself." She said as she pinched his cheeks. What was he 5?

"Really that's fantastic." He said as he decided to humour her.

"Yeah? So it my collection of primo collection of vintage muscle magazines... want em?"

She handed him some magazines. He looked at the cover. Men. There were men on these. Rather kind of almost naked men. He wasn't sure if he could take them. While he knew that he liked boys he hadn't really delved into the area of well... looking at them. Maybe later he would take a peak. He accepted them and was about to speak when she got up and walked away from him. "Oh and honey." She said as she paused at the door, "If you need more of that just come and ask... you know where to find me!"

…

Looking down at the thermos he wondered what difference alcohol could really do. Well it couldn't hurt could it? Alcohol was supposed to make you more confident and carefree and he needed some of that right now. He opened his mouth and quickly chugged a bit more down.

A few minutes later he entered the auditorium. He didn't have any type of plan on how he was going to do this.

"Rachel Stop."

"Kurt I am in the middle of performing. What are you doing here anyway? I thought you hated me and wanted me to leave."

"I don't want you to leave, though I do find you irritating I would never hate you because there is already too much hate in the world. However I will blackmail you to get what I want.

Come back to glee or I will tell Quinn that I have it on good authority that you and one Finn Hudson made out while bowling the other night and if you kiss in public what do you think she will assume you do in private."

"Kurt that is ridiculous Quinn will never believe that!"

"She won't believe that the boyfriend she won't put out for is cheating on her for sex with you. He is a teenage boy and she is a teenage girl. Of COURSE she will believe that, especially because it is, in part, true."

"You can't blackmail me into joining glee again."

"I can and I just did. If you are not in glee rehearsals by tonight me and Quinn are going to be having a VERY juicy gossip session!" He said as gave her his best glare and then turned and flounced out yelling "See you in Glee."

He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol in his system or the fact that he managed to get Rachel to come back to glee club but today was looking up.

'Maybe April had the right idea when it came to drinking.' He thought as he took another swig, 'this stuff probably isn't even that strong anyway.'

Xxx

"Faggot. HEY FAGGOT."

Kurt turned around and strode up to them.

"What do you want Azimio?"

"Oh I don't like the way you are addressing my fairy."

"You need to learn to respect your superiors Hummel." Karofsky added.

"There is no part of you that makes you in any way superior."

"Well homo that is not what I think. Karofsky is that what you think."

"Not at all." "Fag." He added as an afterthought.

"Wow your insults are so creative, tell me, did you get the five year olds to write them for you or did you just take the ones they yelled out at you and used them against me." His mouth said before his brain had time to register what he was saying or what the consequences of it would be. Oh well what was the worst that could happen.

"You did not just call me gay." Karofsky said as he threw his hand back to punch Kurt. Kurt ducked and batted Karofsky away using the thick cover of his math textbook. He spun and ran away laughing. That is until he ran into Principal Figgins who was rounding the corner.

Azimio ran up to him. "Kurt just attacked Karofsky Mr Figgins."

"I did no such thing! They provoked me."

"Mr Hummel, did they actually lay a hand on you."

"He tried to."

"You have no proof of that. I am going to have to ask you to come to my office."

"No thanks I think I will be okay." Kurt said as he walked away and out of school.

"Mr HUMMEL School is not over yet where do you think you are going?" Principal Figgins asked but Kurt just kept on walking.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt was not feeling great the next morning; apparently he did not hold his liquor quite as well as he hoped he would. In fact it was kind of pathetic how little it had taken him to get a hangover. Everyone in the movies always just drank more when they had hangovers so Kurt reached over and got his second thermos from his bag and took another drink before grimacing and putting it down.

It wasn't as pleasant as he remembered it being last night... He looked over at the pile of sheets peeking out of his closet to remind himself that yes that had happened. He expected himself to blush at the thought and was surprised when it didn't happen. All he could do was smile a little at the thought of how good it had felt to get himself off last night.

Slowly he got dressed just throwing stuff on because it was too much effort and his head hurt far too much for him to care about what he was putting on. He walked to the bathroom to attempt his moisturising routine and saw that it was in use so turned back down the hall and flopped onto his bed face down.

He woke with a start to see Mercedes at his door knocking loudly.

"Kurt we need to go now!"

"'m comin'" Kurt said as he continued to lie stationary.

"Kurt!"

"Fine." He grumbled as he somehow managed to pull himself up. He went over to his desk and shoved everything into his bag haphazardly before turning to follow Mercedes out the door.

"You okay Kurt?" She asked him warily.

"Yeah just ... tired that's all I'll be fine." He said neglecting to mention the raging hangover headache and the fact that his stomach was not quite settled; probably good that he didn't have time for breakfast.

"Are you sure?"

"Mmmmm yea les go." He replied.

She looked at him worried. He had been fluctuating between good and bad days and she was worried about him but how was she supposed to help him? There was nothing she could do that would make his father accept him. She had tried to talk to him but he had just yelled and slammed the door in his face. She could see how miserable he was at school all alone but she had only just had her first two weeks straight slushy free and was not about to risk that.

A small half-hearted smile was exchanged between the two as they walked out the door to the waiting car.

xxx

Math dragged onwards and Mr Fisher would not stop talking about exponents and something that Kurt knew he would have no recollection of the following morning. He sat in the back of class, he usually avoided it because it was frequented by those who thought he was a human punching bag but he was beyond caring about his own personal safety.

The boys just glared at him and he ignored them rather than cowering like he usually did. He just could not be bothered.

By the break between second and third period Kurt was not feeling good. He had just been yelled at by principal whatshisname for his behaviour yesterday and been put in detention of cleaning up after Coach Sue's cheerio's. They had just got new confetti cannons so he would be in the gym all night. He walked along grumbling to himself when a voice from behind him said "Kurt I am a girl who knows her solvents and our breath smells like rubbing alcohol."

Kurt turned around and trying not to panic looked at the woman's bug doe-eyes and said the first thing that popped into his head. "Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy." Before bending down and vomiting. All he could see were her shoes which were now covered in light yellowybrown goo.

He looked up to see her frozen in shock which was reasonable considering she was covered in puke. Kurt got up off of the floor without saying a single word and ran away.

He ran outside not caring where his feet were taking him. He was dizzy and his head was spinning and he needed to get out of there before he got into more trouble. This was his lowest point of his lowest week. HE had vomited in front of a teacher and he was sure that the entire school already knew. He slowed to a walk as he passed the football pitch and saw the unmistakable outline of Finn sitting on the bleachers.

Finn was the only guy that he trusted around here ever since he had stuck up for him kind of those few times. He staggered across the field and went to sit down by him.

"Quinn's Pregnant." He said before he collapsed into Kurt's arms.

###

Kurt had just got home from school when his parents called him into the living room. He walked over and sat down between them.

"Honey how was your day?" His mother asked him.

"It was fun. Me and Kyle played on the swings all lunch. Are you feeling better Mummy?"

"Kurt dear that is what we need to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

"There, there is a problem with the baby he… he is not doing well. Honey you brother is probably not going to be able to survive being born. I know you don't really understand this but there is nothing that we can do okay."

"So what is going to happen?"

"I am going to have an operation and he…" His mother stopped as tears started streaming down her face.

"Everything will be alright son." His father said. "Just know that you are not having a little brother but your mother will be fine. I think you should go and do your homework now."

Kurt shrank back into the shadows and slowly went upstairs to start his homework.

And she was, technically, physically, fine. But she never got over it. Every night she would walk into the study that was going to be the nursery and she would look at the walls which had been painted blue, the only reminder of the second son she would never have. Slowly she sunk further and further down into her depression until she could take it no longer. It was only when she was alone. When with her son or her husband it appeared that nothing was wrong but as soon as she was left alone for more than a few minutes it kept creeping up on her. The life that could have been, that she could had have.

All she could imagine was that at the moment she could be holding her son, or feeding her son, of staring into her sons eyes. She would never know what colour they were. She would never know what he would have grown up to be. She felt that she had been robbed.

Burt had gone home to hide Kurt's birthday present. He had brought it last minute and was sure that Kurt would love it when he opened it tomorrow. He walked into the kitchen expecting to find his wife cooking dinner before he rushed off to pick Kurt up from school but she was nowhere to be found. He walked upstairs to hide the present under his bed when he saw her. Lying there.

Kurt was left standing outside school waiting for her to pick him up for 5 hours. It was freezing cold and he felt like his nose was going to fall off. Darkness was creeping up on him and tears were streaming down his face when finally his next door neighbours came to pick him up and they took him to their house. He asked them where his dad was and why he had forgotten to pick him up. He asked if he was in trouble but they just kept saying "you will understand soon". He walked into their living room to find his father lying on the couch and crying . Clasped in his hand was his mother's necklaces. He had never seen his father cry before.

"Daddy what's wrong? Do you want me to go get Mummy to help you feel better? She always makes me feel better."

At this he only wailed louder. The same thing repeating over and over again.

"She's Gone Kurt. She is never coming back."

Their neighbours just stood there not sure what to do for the man would accept no comfort from them and when Kurt went over to them he was pushed away and told to leave him alone. Kurt ran outside and sat down trying to understand what his father meant by gone.

He later found out that it was pills. She took as many of them as she could get her hands on and then lay down in her bed and drifted asleep. At least it was peaceful Kurt had tried to justify. But there was nothing peaceful about death to those who have to witness it.

###

Kurt cried too. Every time babies were mentioned he had to hold back a tear, he had to stop himself from shaking in rage at his little brother who had ruined his life. If it weren't for him he would have a mother, maybe even a father. How could one person who didn't even technically exist cause so much harm. If his mother had

"Kurt what am I going to do? Quinn won't get an abortion and she is going to keep the child and just ... I can't do this?"

"Finn you have to tell someone."

"No dude I can't. They are going to think I am such a loser. We didn't even have sex." He moaned. Kurt just shook his head, of course they had had sex, hence the pregnancy ... unless...

"finn are ... are you sure it is yours?"

"Well it has to be."

"Fuck Finn why are you even with her. You could do so much better."

"Like who?"

"LIKE ME FINN."

"Dude I mean like I am flattered but..."

"Why not?"

"Kurt I'm ... I'm not gay."

"Have you ever tried?" Kurt said as he leaned in towards Finn who jumped backwards and started backing away.

"Dude you are drunk or high or something ... just ... STAY AWAY FROM ME." He said turning around and running off. Kurt watched him go before lying down and crying: Crying for his mother, his brother who had killed him, his father, his unrequited love, his new but not there you friendship with the girl who was housing him. What was he to do?

He didn't know how long he had been there but he assumed that school had ended when he heard the sound Quinn Fabray marching onto the field near where he was lying and yelling at the rest of the squad.

Then there were wolf whistles and catcalls as the football knuckleheads walked onto the pitch. Though Kurt couldn't see it he could see it in his mind's eye so clearly. All of them having fun with each other. Was it really less than a week ago that he had been on the football team? It felt like forever to him.

He heard them go inside and heard Santana bitching loudly about having to perform for the glee club tonight. He had forgotten about that but could not be bothered to drag himself up off of the floor. He lay there staring at the sky as it slowly got darker, clouds obscured the sun.

Just when it was almost dark the rain started to fall. He got up and dragged himself to the bus stop. He had to wait for half an hour for a bus that would take the long but less painful route home. Home. It was his home now afterall. Nothing he could do to change that. For some reason that idea left him even more depressed.

_**A/N**_

_**So uhm yeah I am not sure how this is going or if any of you actually like it so your opinions would be very helpful. **_

_**:D**_

_**PS I am really tired so if there are mistakes please let me know.**_

_**Seriously.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N:If you read MI then you will have already heard me grovel but if you don't then here it is again: sorry for feeling like shit these past few months and not updating but I am trying to take more time with all of this and I have my AS exams coming up and I want to do well so please bare with me and I still try to update as often as possible._**

_No point going to school if you are not going to do the work_ Kurt thought as pulled out his pile of mostly overdue homework. Luckily none of the teachers seemed to care about his lack of work ethic but he still felt like he should be working harder. He had always pressured himself to be bigger and better and to prove to his dad that he wasn't worthless. The only way to leave this town and all of its horrible memories was to get as far away as was possible.

He felt guilty as he started on his maths, realising that he had no idea how to differentiate equations which apparently they had been learning all week. After trying to work it out to himself he gave up and turned to Google which taught him how to do it in about ten seconds. He sighed. It was easy enough to remember just fiddly and boring. He opened his workbook and started on the ever long list of problems.

Mercedes kept interrupting. She kept coming to knock on the door to his current room and ask him if he was okay or he wanted anything, at one point she even invited him to come hang out with her and Tina but he didn't want to sit there while they pitied him or used him as their gay stylist. While he had a keen eye for fashion the idea of being used for it did not appeal to him, even if it meant he would temporarily have the illusion of friends.

By the time he had made his way through not only math but also all his other subjects night had fallen and he was well and truly tired. He quickly popped into the living room to politely decline dinner before jumping into bed, still in his pj's from last night.

He fell into a quick but restless sleep.

_He was running. He was running and running but he was getting nowhere and they were closing in on his from all sides. Faceless people, all wearing WMHS Jackets. He tried to find somewhere to hide of someone to help him but he was all alone. He didn't know what to do. He sunk down on the ground as they finally converged on him and curled into the fetal position as he felt the all too real feeling of dozens of fists pounding against his flesh._

He woke up. It was still dark and he was sweating all over. He was shaking and crying uncontrollably. He quietly got up and nervously went to the bathroom and sticking his head under the faucet to get a drink. In the light coming from the hallway he could see how tired he looked and how worried he was. The worst thing was that the dream wasn't so farfetched and it felt so real. He couldn't help but think that somehow that could be happening to him one day and he would be just as defenceless and helpless. Still trembling slightly he tip-toed back to his room and went back to bed but it was a long while till he fell into a restless sleep.

Sun was streaming into the windows for hours before Kurt rose, cursing himself for forgetting to shut his curtains. Blearily he looked around and realised how long he had been asleep and only vaguely remembering what had happened to him in the middle of the night he got up, dragging his nice warm duvet with him, and went to get some food.

On the counter there was a note,

_Kurt,_

_We have decided to go out for a drive and to see a movie. We were going to take you but you were asleep and looked so exhausted that we decided to let you sleep. We are available by cell if you need us, have fun having the house to yourself_

_Love_

_The Jones'_

Great. He suddenly felt lonely. He had been debating confiding in them about his dream that had bought his fears to the surface but obviously they didn't care enough. Surely they would have woken him and took him if they actually wanted him to come with them. Obviously he was more of a burden than he thought he was. He vowed not to text them all day so as to not ruin their nice outing.

He couldn't stand just sitting in the room so he grabbed a jumper and went for a walk. His head was down, eyes on the footpath in front of him. He made sure to avoid anywhere the jocks liked to frequent such as the park, or mall, or movie theatre. So basically he avoided everywhere, just wandering random backstreets.

He stood outside the Lima Bean staring inside. There was nothing more he could do as his wallet was not on him and at least he would be safe as hardly anyone from WMHS ever came here. He was amazed how a half hour drive had turned into such a long walk but it was good, he had been able to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and let that consume his thoughts. A cold breeze picked up so he decided to step inside and pretend to be looking for someone to get some warmth before the long walk back.

The first thing he head was the unmistakeable laughter of teenage boys and he instantly froze. Not here. Not now. He slowly turned his head in the direction of the noise only to let out a sigh of relief as he saw there was just a group of boys from some other high school in the area, probably one of those posh, private ones. He stood there steadying his breath, snapshots from last night's dream fading from his mind, before he realised he was staring and quickly turned away. Just because they didn't know him didn't mean they wouldn't like a reason to torment him. Sometimes he swore that he put off a _I am easy to bully so why don't you come try_ aura that bullies could easily pick up on.

He had turned around and was about to leave when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I am sorry I have to go." Kurt automatically burst out before pushing off whoever's grip and quickly hurrying off towards the door.

"Without any coffee?" Asked the smooth voice of a young man, obviously part of the group Kurt had been staring at. Kurt expected his tone to be harsh, mocking, but instead it was full of a childlike curiosity.

"Oh uhm I left my wallet at home." Kurt admitted, turning around to face the boy. His mouth dropped open slightly. He was looking at the most attractive guy in all of America, he was sure of it. He had a small mass of black curly hair that set off his mildly tanned skin perfectly. His eyes were staring right at Kurt's, hidden beneath triangular eyebrows. He had the most dazzling smile that was sure to charm that pants off anyone on the receiving end of it.

"I can pay for it." He said, looking down and reaching into his pocket.

"Oh no that's okay I-" Kurt stammered.

"No that's okay, I insist." He said handing over a ten dollar bill. "Want to come and join us?"

"No that's okay I think I need to get home."

"Oh," he said looking slightly disappointed, "Okay. Well keep the change, see you around?"

"Uhm I yeah maybe I. bye." Kurt deadpanned before quickly leaving him and walking up to the counter. Out of the corner of his eye Kurt saw him leaving and walking back to his friends who all greeted him with inquisitive looks. He tried to ignore them and what they were saying which was surely along the lines of "why the hell were you talking to that loser are you mental" and just ordered his coffee.  
When it was done he took the change and walked over to the table that was packed with boys and put it down on the table, mumbling a word of thanks, and left without saying another word.

"His name's Blaine by the way." One of his friends yelled.

"Shut up, Wes!" Came the reply from his benefactor who was evidentially called Blaine.

Kurt looked over at them as he opened the door and gave a small nod before walking out into the cold.

The world looked slightly better with coffee in his hand despite the long walk back home. He was still thinking about the strange behaviour of _Blaine _and wondering why on earth he had come up and talked to him._ He must have thought I was someone else and then felt awkward at the mistake_ was the only think Kurt could come up with. After all normally people who didn't know him pretended he didn't exist which to them, he didn't.

Little did Kurt know but back at the Lima Bean Blaine was copping copious amounts of flack from his friends.

"Ohhh he was hot wasn't he Blainers?" Jeff teased.

"Blaine, why did you do that?" Nick asked.

"More importantly, how do you make boys swoon like that? Can you teach me how to do it to girls? Does it work on girls the same way or does it only work for gays?" Said David

"Dave you have a girlfriend so why does it even matter and chill guys I was just being polite he looked lonely. By the way thanks a whole bunch for yelling out my name, not embarrassing at all!"

"Hey if he wants to track you down he has to have something to google, _hot dreamy black haired teenage boy, Ohio_ wouldn't work as well in google as _Blaine, Ohio_. At least that narrows it down for him."

"And why on earth would he google me."

"So he can track you down later and profess his love for you."

"Guys there is no way that would ever happen." Blaine said rolling his eyes but secretly inside he was hoping for another chance encounter with that very attractive guy ... maybe he could convince him to buy a coffee for the both of them as some kind of payback. Not that he needed it.

Kurt didn't want to make a detour through the park but it would cut 45 minutes off the walk back to Mercedes and it would be dark in about an hour so he thought he would risk it. Besides if he cut through the park it was only about another mile to Mercedes house. He avoided the areas couple liked to hang out, no point in being reminded that he was going to be forever single in this place and walked quickly past the football fields . The sun had finally poked its head out of the clouds bathing him in weak sunlight.

His face was staring straight ahead, resisting the temptation to look over and see if they were there, all they needed was the tiniest bait and they would attack. He heard a woosh and a thump as a football landed to his right. He bent down to pick it up and was about to chuck it back when he saw someone walking up to him wearing red and white ... WMHS colours.

His mind flashed back to his dream last night and he felt a surge of panic. Quickly he dropped the ball and started walking away, not willing to take any chances. He glanced around nervously, noticing that there was nobody around who could help him and started to panic even more. He broke into a run despite how tired he was feeling from walking all day. He didn't look over his shoulder as knowing how close they were would just terrify him more. His heart was pounding with fear and all he could hear was the sound of his footsteps and his uneven panting. He resisted the urge to look back as he kept on running.

Once he got out of the park and back onto the main road he risked a glance behind only to notice that nobody was following him. He slowed to a walk taking deep, uneasy breaths. He tried to calm his breathing but couldn't get it under control. Tears started streaming down his face uncontrollably. He felt like the entire world was closing in on him.

How could he have freaked out so easily? It was just a stupid dream! What was happening to him? Nothing bad had even happened in a few months except the usual light roughing around that he was used to. Finn and Puck being in glee and his short stint in the football club had helped so why was he so scared?

Without his father to run home to and confide in he didn't know how to deal with this. His mother had told him to never bottle up his emotions but there was nothing else he could do. He just couldn't burden anyone else with his problems. He had to be a man and face them.

People kept walking past, watching him but nobody did any. Was the world so dehumanised that nobody would stop to help a poor, young, crying boy?

After finally getting his breathing and tears under control he checked that his clothes didn't look out of place and walked off.

Standing outside the door to Mercedes house he took a deep breath and knocked to let them know he was here before walking into the house. Mr and Mrs Jones were sitting on the couch watching tv and they turned their heads as he walked past

"Kurt honey, where have you been? We were worried about you." Said Ange

"You need to let us know where you are going when you leave the house okay" Said Me Jones sternly.

Kurt nervously bit his lip before replying, "Sorry I just needed a walk to clear my head. It has been a hard week for me. I will let you know my movements in future. I am going to try and get a job so that I can atleast pay you rent and I will let you know my movements in future." Spinning on his heel he turned and walked towards his room. Mr and Mrs Jones looked at each other, worried, before she got up and decided that Kurt needed some motherly support.

*knock knock knock*

"Kurt, can I come in?"

"Sure" Kurt yelled from where he was sitting on his bed reading.

"Harry Potter?" She asked

"It helps me to calm down, it makes me happy." Kurt answered, putting his book down and moving slightly to give her room should she want to sit down.

"Mercedes feels the same way." She smiled.

"She like's Harry Potter too?" Kurt said with shock.

"Have you not seen her poster in her room?"

"I haven't been in it to be honest. I mostly just stay in here. I don't want to burden you with my presence. I am still sorry about this and-"

"Kurt stop. Is that how you really feel. Honey we are not burdened by you. We just want you to be happy and healthy and not to take your father's words to heart. We care about you Kurt. Mercedes wouldn't have offered up her house to you if she didn't. Please just feel free to come to us if you need to. Is there anything that you want to talk about?"

The past week flashed through Kurts mind and he felt overwhelmed with all the things he wished he could tell her but he kept his mouth shut.

"sure I will. Do you mind leaving me to sleep?"

"Of course not Kurt, Sweet dreams." She said gently before going out the door, turning off the light on her way, and gently shutting the door.

Kurt rolled over and hugged his pillow tight, hoping that he would not have to suffer through another horrible dream.

**_A/N: So Kurt has had his first encounter with Blaine but it doesn't seem like he was that impressed with it. I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens. :D_**

**_Reviews and feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism are always loved._**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Yeah ages since I updated I know but I have my end of year exams in a month and I want to do well in them so sorry. Once they are over then there will be far far more regular updates. Thanks for sticking with me.**

He woke up again sweating and terrified. This time however he had a sense of foreboding that he had never before associated with the dreams. It had been a month since the first one and since he had met Blaine in the coffee shop. Nothing extraordinary had happened. He got up, went to school, went to glee, came home, did homework, went to sleep, and then started all over again. The only variation was the dreams he had at least twice a week.

Kurt wanted to have a quick shower however as he was about to open the door he heard it being turned on. Once Mercedes was done there would be neither time nor hot water so he gave up and grabbed some of his clothes off the floor, putting them on quickly and carelessly.

Kurt slowly wandered over to the kitchen to grab breakfast, cornflakes and soy milk, which was in his opinion the blandest and most disgusting breakfast possible. However he was not willing to make a fuss or force the Joneses to spend more money on him, as it was he kept his portion size to a minimum. He was getting dangerously close to being able to see his ribs and half his pants now required belts to keep them up.

He was just about to turn the corner when he heard raised voices and stopped.

"… can't afford it. It's not like we need a fancy car anyway. We will be just as fine with a cheaper one."

"I know but that car is my baby."

"Honey there is nothing we can do. I know this whole Kurt thing happened so suddenly and we didn't really get a say in the matter but we have to make it work and this is the only way to pay for Kurt's upkeep."

"yes but I-"

Kurt didn't want to hear anymore. He turned around and snuck out of the backdoor without and breakfast and headed off to school.

He had trouble getting out of the back gate as it got stuck and he didn't want t draw attention to himself by banging it too loudly. In the end he chucked his bag over and after several attempts he managed to get himself up over only to trip and fall face first into the mud. Right next to his favourite bag. 'Great.' He thought with a sigh. He opened it up to find that the muddy water had seeped in and ruined all his books, homework, and his jacket.

He checked his watch which luckily had survived the fall and decided that it would be pathetic to go to school far too early so walking would be the best option to waste some time.

Upkeep. Upkeep! It made him sound like some expensive painting or something. It made him an object. They didn't think of him as a person only another mouth to feed, another body to clothe. He didn't want to think of himself that way. And by the sounds of it they had been having his argument before. This was hopeless. They kept saying things would get better but it had been over a month and nothing was improving.

Slowly, dragging his feet, he walked to school. After taking two wrong turns and having to walk almost twice as far there was no hope of him getting to school on time. He hoped that he could sneak into second period without anyone noticing but as he walked towards the front entrance he saw Sue standing there, hands on hips and a ruthless expression on her face.

"Hummel. Hmmm you are almost an hour late. Well I think that is worth two hours of detention after school don't you. 3pm on the dot."

Would I be able to do it after glee club?" Kurt unwisely asked.

"Is that what you desire?"

"If possible coach."

"Okay sure."

"Thanks coach you are-"

"Three hours it is. If you behave then I will take it down by 15 min, See you then, lady."

"But Coach."

"Get to class NOW!" She said, angrily pointing her finger.

Not wanting to push his luck he scurried off to French without another word. He was early and so managed to get his newly found favourite seat in the back of the class. He liked being at the back of the class despite the annoying cheerleaders who surrounded him because it meant that he managed to avoid getting asked questions and could practically disappear from the class which suited him nicely.

He dragged himself through the day. Without fail every teacher scolded him for not having his books and gave him extra homework to make up for it. For once he managed to avoid Mercedes and Tina who, despite their best intentions, were currently pissing him off with everything they did. He couldn't look at Mercedes without feeling guilty and Tina would not shut up about how much she liked Artie. Like he needed a constant reminder that he would probably be single and alone for something he had no control over.

He sighed and walked into glee club. He looked up to see a startled Brittany tossed off of Santana's lap.

"Fuck ! I told you this was a bad idea Britt. You say one word about this Lady Hummel and I swear it will be the death of you."

"I didn't see anything." Kurt said before walking off and taking a seat behind her.

After a few seconds Santana glanced back at him and then helped Brittany up off the floor. They fell into a whispered conversation.

Kurt didn't blame them for hiding it though most people with half a brain had figured it out. Look what good coming out of the closet had done for him. If he hadn't then he would still be at home with his father. Once again he re-lived that moment in his basement and wished he could go back in time to change it. One moment of strength. Or was it weakness? He couldn't really decide.

All right kids how are you today? Well…" he said not waiting for an answer. When people asked that question they never actually want or care about an answer Kurt had found. "I was up late last night brainstorming and I ended up rewatching Wicked."

"Mr Schue please tell me I am going to be singing-"

"Defying Gravity for sectionals? Yes Rachel." He finished for her causing her to stand p and start clapping and bowing.

"Mr Schue?" Kurt asked

"What Kurt." He said in a bored voice.

"How come Rachel gets it? Shouldn't we audition or something?"

"Well does anyone else want to do it?" Mr Schue asked. He looked around and the only person who had a raised hand was Kurt. "Well that settles it."

"Mr Schue I-"

"No Kurt. It is a female role so it will be sung by a female."

"But I-"

"You know what," He started, raising his voice. "I am pretty sick of you. You never speak except to complain about my choices or other people. If you aren't willing to be an active helpful member of this club then nobody is forcing you to. Now I was thinking for choreography…" He stared before trailing off in shock as Kurt started to pack up his things.

"Bye" He said in a dull monotonus voice before walking out of the choir room. He figured that if he went quickly to detention he might be able to get away with only two hours. That wasn't likely. Nothing ever went his way.

It was dark and late. Kurt walked to the bus stop ladened down with all the homework he would have to finish. He was almost at the bust stop when suddenly a hand wrapped around his mouth. He dropped everything, twisting and turning, trying to get free. Both his arms were clenched to his sides and slowly a blindfold was drawn over his face.

**A/N well sorry that was shit. I ... yeah. No excuses really. Sorry.**


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt slowly came to consciousness, pulled from sleep by the throbbing pain that seemed to inhabit every part of his body. He started opening his eyes only to snap them shut and groan at the blinding white light. Giving up, he tried to go back to sleep. Today seemed like it was going to be one of those sleep all morning eat all afternoon days. Maybe later the pain would be more bearable.

Just as he was about to drift off his door burst open. There was the sound of rushing footsteps.

"Sir are you awake? Can you open your eyes for me please?" came a calm but insistent sounding female voice, definitely not one he was familiar with at any rate. Who was this stranger in his room? In a panic his eyes flew open. He blinked rapidly to get used to the intense light. He scrambled and tried to get out of bed, thrashing about wildly. A middle age woman was standing over him trying to, as gently as possible, hold him down

"Sir. Sir you are in the hospital. Sir. Sir Calm down everything is okay. You are safe. You are in the hospital." She kept repeating in a soothing voice.

White. Everything was white and unfamiliar. Hospital. He was in hospital. She said Hospital. Why was he in hospital? That would explain the pain in all parts of his body. But why? Why was he here. He couldn't help himself, he started crying. He let out a huge sob which caused a hot almost searing pain in his throat.

"Sir. Sir it is okay. You are okay. Nothing too serious okay you just need to calm down or you are sure to bring about more pain. I have called for the doctor and he will be here to talk to you soon okay?" She said over his sobs, placing a hand on his shoulder and doing her best to soothe him.

Kurt could hear his heart racing as he tried to get his thoughts in order. It didn't help that his head was throbbing. He couldn't remember why he was here or even what was happening. The last thing he remembered was walking into glee club and seeing Santana and Britt making out. ... . Could? Could they have done this? Santana could get mad at times but ... mad enough to put him in hospital? Somehow he couldn't see it. So what? What had he done to deserve this? Try as he might he could not for the life of him remember. That thought alone scared him more than it should.

The door to his room opened and a grey haired man in a lab coat walked in.

"Janet?" The man said.

"I don't think he is in severe pain I just think he is confused and scared. I wanted to explain things but I hardly know what is going on. I just rushed in here when I saw that he was awake."

"Okay. You were brought in the last night, unconscious and with various injuries, by a woman who claimed not to know you." He held up a picture. "Do you recognise her?"

Kurt tried to focus his eyes through the tears clouding his vision. It was a bad quickly taken picture, but as far as he could remember he had no clue who this woman was. He shook his head.

"Okay well she was very worried and asked us to call her if you woke up. She said that you had no items on you and that she found you dumped in the middle of the road just outside of Westerville at about 3am when she was driving home. She bought you in and you have been unconscious ever since. You have some light head damage which we do need to double check but does not seem like it will have any lasting damage.

Kurt nodded.

"You have a broken right arm and a damaged throat, it seems you were strangled a bit but luckily not well so this may have been what cause you to pass out. Also we would advise you against talking for the next week. We need to take you in for some PET scans within the next 24 hours to check the damage in your head but don't worry that is just for confirmation that there is nothing to worry about. It is just precautionary. You had no ID on you. Can you please fill out this form so we can contact people and let them know you are here and safe. Now I have to get going unfortunately, understaffed a bit." He finished before duping at clipboard and a pen on his bed and leaving.

"I'll come back and collect that soon." The nurse added before she quickly followed him out leaving Kurt alone once more.

_Parent/Guardian contact details._

Kurt just sat there staring at it. He didn't want to put his dad down obviously but Mrs Jones? She wasn't his legal guardian or anything and there was no way they would let him be released to her without his father consent. Mercedes had forced her to take him and though she was nice she didn't seem to thrill making Kurt feel like he couldn't just dump that on her.

He sat there staring at it for twenty minutes before giving up and writing Burt Hummel. If he was being honest to himself he was hoping that this would scare his father into remembering that he loved him no matter what. Surely the shock of hearing your only son was beaten up in hospital would be enough to make him forget that he was... angry.

Kurt tried to bury his head in the pillow to escape. Nobody seemed to know what had happened to him and he hadn't the faintest idea. Try as he might there was just no way that he could remember any of the events leading up to it. The fact that nobody even seemed to care enough to come and visit him or to even know where he was... it broke his heart.

The pounding in his head was getting worse so he tried to pull himself together and stop crying which only made him want to cry more. Why had everything gone so downhill. He wished that he could just go back in time and not tell his dad. Everything had just gotten worse after that. He had thought he felt alone and upset then but it was nothing at all compared to how he felt now.

What about Mercedes and her parents. Had they been told? What would they do? How would they react? Lately Kurt's mind seemed to be a never ending stream of questions and doubts. Yes Mercedes and her family had taken him in but after that they had pretty much ignored him. It was not like they were best friends or anything. They had only met at the start of the year at glee club and while she was nice he knew hardly anything about her. Mostly he just didn't want to burden her with everything.

He was alone. More so now than ever.

He woke up and it was still light. Or was it light again? There was a nurse, a different one, who was checking the machines attached to him. He wanted to ask her what she was doing and was about to before she put her finger to her lips.

"No talking remember? Doctor's orders." She said with a smile. "here" she passed him a pad of paper and a pencil, "now if you want to talk you can write it down."

Kurt smiled gratefully at her. He picked up the pencil awkwardly in his left hand and wrote a very shaky 'what is going on?'

"I am just checking on you and seeing if you need more meds but you seem good for now, maybe in a few hours you might need a top up. You are scheduled to have a scan soon okay. Now we have contacted your father and he hung up on us. Then he called back asking what the hell you were doing in Westerville and what kind of, and I quote, "faggy trouble his fucked up son had gotten in" at which point we hung up on him. Now Kurt it is obvious that there are some problems between you two so we have decided that for your safety you will be having no visitors until all of this is sorted out." She stopped and took a deep breath and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Look we will sort this out and look after you okay. Can you write down who you would like us to contact to come and see you and take you home. I promise that nobody else will be let in."

Kurt brought his hand up to rest on hers and gave her a smile.

"Okay well I'll be back soon but you take care now okay."

Kurt nodded as she turned and walked away, wondering why complete a complete stranger had once again proven to be kinder than anyone he was associated with.

**A/N:**

**Blah blah blah obligatory I am sorry this took so long because I have exams post. Blah Blah Blah. This chapter sucks but I have rewritten it about 10 times and this is the happiest I have been so lets go with it. Blah blah blah as if anybody reads this. Blah**

**Blah**

**Blah**

**I am sorry that this sucks!**

**Please don't hate me.**


	10. Chapter 10

After much deliberation and Kurt ensuring that he was well enough to handle it Mercedes and her Mother were allowed in to see him. They awkwardly moved to stand next to his bed. One look at their faces and Kurt could tell this was not going to be a happy conversation.

"Listen Kurt they were talking to us about discharging you but... Kurt honey you know we care about you but we are not sure we are going to be able to continue supporting you. We thought it would only be temporary and that you and your father would get back together but after what happened... You are welcome to come and stay for now" but we will need to work on a more permanent solution." There was an awkward pause as Kurt tried to process this information.

"Kurt?" Mercedes asked.

He nodded in reply. Plastering what he hoped looked like an understanding smile over his face.

"Well I am going to go and see what we can do to get you discharged okay?"

Kurt nodded again. As soon as she left he sighed and tossed his head back onto his pillow.

"I know Kurt but the thing is Dad is getting a pay cut and we just can't do it. My parents have been trying to think of any way that they can but it is just not possible. I'm... I am truly sorry Kurt. I said I would help but..." she trailed off gesturing at his broken arm. "I wasn't thinking when I offered it to you and now you have gone and gotten yourself hurt just because you heard them arguing an-" Kurt cut her off by holding a finger to her lip. He slowly shook his head, careful not to hurt his neck. "That wasn't why?" He shook again. "Oh" she stopped.

She thought he had been running away. She had heard her parents arguing over money so he must have too. Wasn't that why he ran? Why he didn't come home?

"Kurt I thought you must have gone to one of your other friends houses... that's why I didn't look for you. You have to understand that we all thought you were safe. I'm," she sniffed and brought her hand up to her face to wipe away a tear, "I am so incredibly sorry Kurt. Please don't blame me." Kurt didn't know how to respond. He just sat there nodding.

After she had gathered herself together he picked up her hand that was resting on the sheets and gave it a quick squeeze, hoping that she would understand that he didn't blame her.

I'm going to go find mum okay? But I'll come back okay? She asked hesitantly.

Again he nodded. She nervously bit her lip as she tried to give him a reassuring smile before walking out the door.

Xxx

Fostercare. That was the only answer. Woppppeee do da day. There was nothing that could have excited Kurt more. Because trying to find people to look after a gay 16 year old boy was one of the easiest things in the world. The social worker in charge of his case seemed far too optimistic to make matters worse.

"Kurt we are going to find someone."

"I truly believe that you will find someone who loves you."

"You are so amazing that everyone will want you."

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Kurt was so sick of all these happy people walking around pretending that life was so great and amazing. _Life sucks and then you die._

Mercedes was trying her best to be kind but everything was just making him feel worse. She was constantly trying to help him work on his personality so that the couples would like him but the way he saw it they either liked him or they didn't. 10 couples had been "interested" in him only to change their minds after meeting him. A 30 minute meeting! How the hell was that supposed to tell them anything at all. It was ridiculous. This whole process was ridiculous.

It had taken about a week for them to confirm that he was in too much danger with his father to be placed in his care and then another week to check that he had no other relatives to go to. He could have told them these things in about five seconds but no, we can't trust the poor child who we are subjecting to all of this. Not at all.

Kurt's life had turned into a waiting game. Waiting and hoping that he would be able to find someone.

xxx

Burt was not doing well. In the back of his mind he had always known but there had always been that hope. Now his son was in hospital. Probably because of some gay thing.

He had nothing now. Nothing. People had seen his outburst at the hospital and business had noticeably dropped. People just didn't want to go to someone who wasn't family friendly even if he had totally viable reasons. So he spent his days sitting in his empty shop trying to figure out where he went wrong. Was it his fault that his wife was better with children and he had been forced to take the back seat.

Looking back he should have gotten over his wife's death and just done manly things with Kurt rather than letting him dictate his time. He let Kurt have those stupid tea parties and play dress up because he didn't want to fight. Fighting was too hard. Fighting is what had driven her away from him and into the arms of death.

xxx

It all seemed the worst. It seemed like he was going to go into a forced house rather than one that actually wanted him when the miracle happened. They found someone. They found someone who wanted him.

Lucy Carmichael, husband now deceased, had initially wanted a young child to raise as her own as it had become clear she would never find anyone to re-marry in time to have children but had accidentally seen Kurt's file and had insisted that she meet him...

** A/N: ha this is so short and shit. Ha. Why does life exist?**

**Listen to me people LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE that is my motto.**

**I will try to do better at this but no promises aye.**

**Merry Xmas and all that Jazz.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Kinda ****minor**_**suicide trigger warning**_** (gonna put this there so nobody kills me)**

**A/N: Oh my holy crap you guys are all far too bloody kind!**

**Your reviews are so lovely and each of them has made me so incredibly happy.**

**Also you should know I am making all this up in the sense that I have no idea what would happen in America if you were found to have an abusive father so I am just making assumptions and yeah so let's just pretend that I totally know what I am talking about. Okay? Hehehe.**

Kurt was sitting there nervously. This was the fifth meeting he had been to so far and if the past four were anything to go by it was going to be disappointing, despite the fact that he had barely any hopes or expectations. Mrs Dreyon, Kurt's social worker was sitting next to him, going through her notes and rereading what Kurt had written during their pre-interview chat.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

She was younger than he had expected, wearing a business like suit of a gorgeous deep red colour paired with black stilettos. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a bun and her face was perfectly made up to make the most of her somewhat average features. She gave Kurt a nervous smile before shutting the door behind her and taking the seat across the table from Kurt and Mrs Dreyon. She depositied her bag on the floor and then crossed her legs, assuming a business like manner. Kurt felt slightly intimidated by her formal approach.

"Sorry I am late I had a meeting that ran long. Hi, Kurt, My name is Lucy."

"He doesn't speak." Kurt's social worker replied for him before he could even register what was being said.

"Oh and why not?"

"Trauma from his injury, the doctors say. He will be requiring psychological help which i hope you are able to provide."

"Oh yes I heard about the incident." She said to the confusion of the other two. "It was actually one of my friends who bought you in. That was why I was so intrigued and had to meet you. I couldn't bear the thought of you being all alone after that horrible thing had happened to you. I am so sorry for you that it has affected you so much"

Kurt nodded in response.

"Well I will do whatever I can to help you feel safe and help you get back to normal. Of course I understand that this will not be your regular normal... but hopefully you can get used to it.

Kurt took a pause and then wrote something down on the pad of paper he carried with him now...

Is this you assuming that I am coming to live with you? It said. She looked up at him after reading it and he immediately dropped his gaze to the floor.

"No Kurt. I was just saying that if you did I would do everything I could to make you a happy and well balanced child."

Kurt looked intently at the ground and nodded slightly.

"So shall we proceed with Kurt's questions?"

"Yes," she replied after some hesitation. "I think that would be great."

"Okay first, and probably most importantly he wants to know why you picked him as your first choice, why you want a 16 year old who will probably leave home in two or here years and can never properly be your son when you could have an adorable 3 year old who can think of you as their mother forever."

"Well like I said it was one of my friends who brought you in. She was telling me about it and one of the first things she said was that she hoped that there would be no permanent scarring on your gorgeous face, which of course made me laugh and intrigued me. We spent the next hour talking about you. She said she had tried to visit you, to check that you were okay, but was not allowed. However they had explained that they didn't know exactly what happened and also told her your name was Kurt Hummel. She has been very worried about you. When I was looking through the pile of younger kids I spotted the name Hummel on Mrs Dreyon's desk and wanted to see because it just seemed like a funny coincidence. lo and behold it was you, Kurt Hummel. So I asked to look at it and I just felt so sorry for you because..." she paused and took a large breath. "it said you had been kicked out by an abusive father because you were gay. ... ... ... My... my brother was gay and because of this he killed himself when he was only a year older than I didn't even know until I read his letter that he was gay. Nobody did. He didn't tell a soul because he was terrified that what had happened to you would happen to him. Knowing my father it probably would have. I was stuck with a fear that you might stay alone without a loving caregiver to look after you and I just couldn't do that. I knew that I had to help you... that is... if you will let me."

There was silence in the small meeting room when she stopped speaking. Kurt looked up from the spot of carpet he had been staring at to see he gently wiping away a tear that had rolled down her cheek.

Kurt hesitated for a second before quickly scribbling down "I am speechless" and passing it across the table to her. He let a small, cheeky smile ghost across his face when he heard her let out a tiny giggle while reading it. She looked up at him and they made eye contact for a few seconds before he panicked and looked down at the ground again.

"You have the most beautiful eyes Kurt." She said quietly, causing Kurt to flick his eyes up again and meet hers. This time instead of looking back down he continued to look at her. Every few seconds he would divert his eyes nervously to something on the wall but he would keep returning his gaze to her. She had to stop herself from outwardly celebrating the fact that she had made undeniable progress.

"Okay." Kurt's social worker interrupted, ruining the moment. "Next question was why not just wait till you remarry and have kids for yourself?"

"I can't remarry... I mean I don't want to. I loved him so deeply that I could never even think about being with another man. It has been 6 years already... you think I would have gotten over him and I have in a way but not enough to be able to look for someone else. I can't. I don't want anyone if I can't have him. His dying wish was for me to be happy and he said that if that required me to remarry he was fine with that but it is not what will make me happy. And I don't want to have kids by a sperm donor or anything when there are children like you, already alive, who I feel could benefit far more from my help... does that answer your question Kurt?"

Kurt nodded. He loved that she felt that way and wished more people would. Why would you bring more children into this already overpopulated world when there are ones who already need and want loving homes but, normally due to a tragic twist of fate, do not have them?

"Okay the third one is not so much of a question. He wants you to be aware that he is gay and so is constantly bullied and was recently assaulted by a mysterious stranger or strangers and he still cannot recall any incidents of that. This has also led to this psychological barrier that has prevented him from talking that is a result of being choked until he passed out. He will need professional help that is likely to be very expensive in order to gain any sense of normalcy. "

"Well obviously I am aware he was gay from his file and I am fully aware that in this country that makes idiot teenagers feel like they have the right to pick on him. While I wish I could stop it I can only do my best to make sure he is not harmed. My husband used to be quite a prominent designer in London and I was a makeup artist for major fashion shows, which is how we met, and so we have more than enough money stored away to look after Kurt. No matter what he needs."

Kurt had noticed how she still said "we". It was obvious that she still thought in terms or we and still felt like they were together. He remembered his father doing similar things in the months after his mother's death... though he had long stopped doing it.

"If he does pick me to look after him-"

Lucy was interrupted "You know they have no choice in the matter."

She turned to look Mrs Dreyon. "I want him to want to be with me otherwise we are not doing anyone any good. Like I said if he wants me to take care of him I am prepared to do everything in my power to make sure he is looked after and, most importantly, that he feels loved." She looked back towards Kurt. "Kurt. I don't want to force you into anything. I want you to be with me because you trust me. I know that will take lots of time and effort but I truly believe that we can form an everlasting bond. I feel drawn to you. I look into your eyes and I feel this protective instinct. I want to wrap you up in my arms and protect you from all the horrible people in this world. I want to be the parent you deserve to have." She finished and then looked down. "Wow" she said with a hint of laughter in her voice, "I have been so incredibly cheesy today." She said looking up again and biting her lip.

"Okay well that was all Kurt had written down... Kurt anything else?"

Kurt shock his head.

"Okay Mrs Carmichael, do you have anything you want to ask him?"

"No nothing pressing enough that I can't wait until he is able to answer himself." She replied with a smile in Kurt's direction. "I want to make it clear that he has to say he wants to come and live with me not just because I am the best or only option."

"Okay well thank you for meeting here today and you will hear back from us on Kurt's decision by this time next week."

Okay thank you very much for setting up this meeting. I hope to see you soon Kurt."

xxx

Kurt lay in bed that night, thinking.

She had quite a bit of baggage what with her husband dying after many failed attempts to get pregnant. But then she was so kind and she seemed to care about him so much. She would be kind and understanding because of her poor brother killing himself because he was gay. But she didn't know how bad it was, how bad it could become. Kurt would never admit this to anyone but he was scared that his attack had been because he was gay and someone didn't approve of it. But she would be paying for psychological help. And he desperately needed that. But what if she couldn't cope and dumped him. He knew himself well enough to know that would break him. But she seemed so determined to help him

Kurt was debating with himself till the early hours of the morning before he finally fell asleep.

**A/N So what do you guys think...? Does Lucy deserve to get to have Kurt or should we see who else is out there.**

**Wow these holidays have been great in that they have given me loads of time to do this... anyway CYA...**

**Also if anyone spots continuity issues/ typos please tell me because otherwise they will stay like that FOR EVER.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Wow okay So I have officially given up glee and no longer care about Klaine so you will have to forgive me for not giving as much of a shit about them but I do really like this story and where it is going but be warned Glee is dead to me so not everything will be glee related and as little singing as possible**

**And yeah I know my updating schedule is shit but if you are unhappy with that then meh not my problem aye bro. I DO HAVE A LIFE YOU KNOW (hahaha no that is a lie)**

Mercedes was in tears as Kurt drove away. Kurt was not. Mercedes was only in tears because Kurt hadn't even opened his mouth to say goodbye. It was not because he didn't want to but he still found it so hard. He was still so terrified to say the right thing. But Mercedes had thought that maybe he would break his silence to say goodbye to her but obviously all she got from that idea was disappointment. Needless to say it was a very quiet car road over to her house in Westerville.

Once they drove up Lucy's driveway Kurt saw that it was less of a house more of a mansion causing his mouth to drop in awe. He knew that she had money but he didn't know it was this much.

"Yeah I know. I may have underestimated it a little bit before because I don't want kids to want me for the house and wealth but my husband and I were both making a lot of money back in the day." She said nervously with a smile on seeing Kurt's reaction. "But don't worry I am not going to spoil you too much. I have seen how that turns out, some of the kids in this area, gosh." She pulled into the garage and turned the car off. Well we will leave your bag for later but how about you get out and come with me?" Kurt nodded in reply and got out of the car. "After you" She gestured through the door.

Kurt walked through into the door into the foyer; it was beautifully decorated and pristinely clean. The walls were of a deep brown polished wood, a beautiful painting of scenery was hanging on the left wall while the right wall had a photo of Lucy and Her Husband. There was a table in the centre with a collection of photos, Kurt pointed at the biggest one's that wasn't her husbandd and looked at it inquisitively. "That's my brother on the left and my husband on the right, when he was a boy," she smiled gently, "the smaller ones are of various other family members. I'll teach you more about them later if you want. Come on I will show you the rest of the house."

They walked past the staircase through the door on the right and into the kitchen. It was beautiful and had state of the art equipment. Kurt ran his hands over the smooth black marble bench tops and just could not believe that he was going to be living here "I don't really cook much because HE always used to cook for me. I mostly go out and get takeout." Kurt pointed at himself and at the stove. Lucy nodded, "That would be nice, I hope you can cook." She walked off and into the hallway.

She showed Kurt around the living room, the study, where the downstairs bathrooms were, and the movie room. Then they went out to the pool and back garden which was one of the largest back gardens Kurt had ever seen. Finally she led him back inside and upstairs. "My bedroom is the one at the end of the hall, the bathroom is right here on your left, the craft room is the second left, and your bedroom is the second on the right, or the first if that's what you want but I thought that the second was a bit bigger and a bit more suited to you." Kurt smiled and nodded, waiting to follow her into his room, when it became obvious that she wasn't going to be doing this he slowly walked down the hall and opened the door to his new bedroom.

Though it was bare Kurt could already feel a smile forming on his face bigger than it had been all day. This was going to be his room. This was going to be the place where he made new memories, where he cried, where he laughed, where he spent endless hours reading books. It had off white walls and a huge window on one end overlooking the back garden. An empty bookcase was just waiting to be filled and a large confortable looking bed was calling his name. Kurt walked over to it and at the last second sprung up and landed on it, on his back.

"I'll go and get your stuff out of the car?" Lucy said from the doorway before turning and walking away. Kurt sat up and nodded before falling back onto his bed. Kurt lay there looking up at the ceiling and wondering if he would be able to put glow in the dark stars on it. He had always wanted glow in the dark stars on his roof but his father had always said no. Kurt's brow furrowed slightly as he wondered what his father was doing now. He decided not to think about that. He was starting a new life now. So he got up and went to help bring his stuff upstairs. Not that there was much just a few clothes and things but still he didn't want Lucy to have to carry it. That was just rude.

Just as he was about to walk out of the door she walked into it with his bag. "Well here you go Kurt. I'll leave you to unpack and then I thought maybe we could go for a drive and I could show you the area. Do you have your driver's licence?" Kurt nodded. "Great. Well come downstairs when you are ready. I will be in the study on my computer."

Kurt set about packing his clothing into the set of draws and then lay back down. He wished he had thought to bring more of his stuff when he left home, like his books and his sheet music and not just his clothes. He had assumed he would be going back but now that didn't seem very likely He sat down on the middle of the floor and crossed his legs.

'Everything will be okay

Everything will be okay

It's all going to be okay'

And for once he actually believed what he was telling himself.

They were sitting in a lovely Italian restaurant sharing an incredibly large pizza as night fell. It was still slightly awkward between the two of them. Kurt had no idea how strict or not she was or what behaviour she would find inappropriate.

"Okay Kurt, are you ready to talk rules and things?" Kurt nodded. "Okay I will tell you what I propose the house rules etc are and tell you what I expect of you and then you can tell me what I think about it." Kurt nodded "Okay well rule number one: I expect to know where you are at all times. I don't need elaborate details but if you are going somewhere after school I expect you to text me and..."

Kurt picked up his pad of paper from beside his plate _'i don't have a phone.' _Kurt wrote.

"Oh I just assumed that you did. Don't most kids these days?"

_'Uhm well i kind of had one and smashed it when I was angry... sorry'_

"No it is not your fault. Don't worry, tomorrow we are going on a huge shopping trip together so tonight write a list of everything you want. That doesn't mean I will buy it but I will take it into consideration. Okay rule number two: you have to do well in school. I don't expect you to get A's in everything I just want you to try. I heard your grades slipped last semester so the next semester, when you are ready to go back to school, I want you concentrating on school work okay but don't let it take over your life. You need to have fun too. Okay third rule: I want you to have a part time job, not yet obviously we will need to wait for a while until your therapist clears it and thinks it is okay because I don't want to stress you out but I think it is good for a young man to have a job and learn about money. Fourth, which really should have been third,: you do have to attend therapy but we have already discussed this I just wanted you to know that I will support you in it fully. Fifth is that your room must be kept reasonably tidy as must the rest of the house you use. For example if you cook yourself a snack you must clean it up but if you are cooking for the both of us then I shall, of course, help. Curfew is 9:30 on school nights and 11 on weekends, you can be given an extension but only if it is discussed beforehand. And yeah I think those are most of the rules... what do you think?"

'_I don't have a problem with any of those... but what are my rules on driving your car?' _

"Well actually I was thinking about getting you a car, not a nice one just a cheap old one but one that works." Kurt's face lit up with excitement. "I thought you would like that. Well that is it for now, if anything else comes up we will add to it. Most importantly I want you to feel like you can trust me and come to me with anything okay?"

_'Okay.'_

"Okay great, so let's go back home, do you want to drive? We can stop for ice-cream on the way." Kurt grinned, stood up and held out his hand for the car keys causing Lucy to smile and chuck the in the air for him to catch. "Come on eager beaver."

**A/N so yeah this thing will never be abandoned but it may take a while and I am sorry blah blah blah blah hope you enjoyed it please feel free to leave me your feedback etc etc etc.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N blah blah sorry this takes so long blah blah thank you for reading blah blah let me know what you think blah blah blah yeah. If someone could like remember to remind me to write this then that would help things along cuz I get so caught up in school work and stuff that I forget which I don't like so thanks to that person who reviewed it today which reminded me to write it. Anyway as you were:**

Kurt was nervous. He was rubbing his sweaty palms together as he looked out of the car window and tried to keep it together.

"Kurt Honey I know you are nervous but it will be fine. I promise."

Kurt took a deep breath and gave a curt nod. The car drew to a stop. He closed his eyes and visualised what would happen, he found that this helped him. He saw the outcome of this. He saw himself being able to speak again, going to school, making friends, maybe ... maybe even singing. That was what he wanted. That was why he was going. He opened his eyes and stepped out of the car, following Lucy inside.

"I have a meeting with Cameron Peirce for Kurt Hummel"

"Yes unfortunately he had to change his schedule as the patient following you had an incident and needed to be seen right away. Just wait over there; he should be done with his current patent in a maximum of 15 minutes."

"Thank you." Lucy said before going with Kurt and sitting on one of the benches.

Those 15 minutes were agonising. Kurt just kept staring at the door knowing that soon a psychologist was going to walk out and call him in. Knowing that he would be alone, unprotected by Lucy for the first time in two weeks. Knowing that there would be 45 minutes of him trying to be convinced to talk. It petrified him. Finally the door opened and a young, probably 12 year old, boy walked out his head hanging in an unmistakeably shameful way. He looked vaguely familiar.

"Our usual time next week Mister Anderson." A man who could only be Mr Peirce called out as he walked over to the receptionist.

"Sure sure Sir." The young boy replied.

Kurt's eyes followed him as he walked to the window and looked outside. As he turned and walked out the door Kurt looked over to the car he was heading towards and frowned. He could have sworn he recognised the boy sitting in the passenger seat, who looked so much like what he assumed was his younger brother, but he could not for the life of him figure out where from. He was talking to the woman sitting next to him and laughing. Kurt could almost hear the laughter in his head. When the boy got there he turned around and gave him a hi-5 as the car pulled away and drove off.

Next thing he knew he became aware of someone looming over him. "Mr Hummel?"

Kurt gave a tiny, fearful nod.

"Follow me. Lucy, can you come back after half an hour so I can spend the last time talking to the both of you? Just need to figure some stuff out. We need to work together as a cohesive unit on this to make sure everything goes to plan."

"Sure. See you soon Kurt." She stood up as he did and gave him a hug. "Good luck."

Kurt smiled and nodded before turning away and following Mr Peirce into the room he had just exited. Room 101. Kurt rolled his eyes, oh the irony.

"Now we have a problem Kurt. Can you see that problem?"

Kurt nodded, it was obvious, he couldn't talk so how was therapy, where the idea was to talk it out, going to help.

"The problem is that as you are restricted to basically yes, no, I don't know, answers that I will undoubtedly end up asking you leading questions. That won't help anybody. But if I give you a pad of paper to write on that will only encourage your issue because it will confirm that you can adequately function around this issue you are having. So what will we do?"

Kurt sat there, not saying anything as usual. How the hell was he supposed to know? He was the one looking for help.

"We are going to have you writing BUT you only have 10 seconds to write it down to try to show you that this is not a feasible solution to this situation. And I need you to know that I do encourage you to dislike writing."

Kurt was sceptical. This guy was so full of energy and enthusiastic. But really if Kurt could barely 'talk' how in hell was this supposed to help?

"Okay so I just first need to check all this info I have been sent by Lucy and you doctors. This session will just be getting to know you and get more familiar with the root of your condition. Next time we will more closely head towards trying to make you better. That sound like the start of a good plan?"

Kurt nodded.

The doctor shook his head.

Kurt looked at him puzzled, until the doctor tapped the pad of paper and said "your ten seconds are up."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Rules are rules. No physical communication. Not while you are in here. Only writing."

_Okay_

"Good. Okay now you initially were told not to talk due to injuries by doctors."

_Yes _

"Okay and they told you that you could start talking again but you didn't?

_Yes_

"Why?"

_ I... couldn't_

"Okay describe 'couldn't'"

_I wanted to but I just couldn't_

"Okay so you want to be able to talk? You want to get better you are not being forced to come?"

_No I am not. I want to speak. Can you imagine_ the doctor made a spin gesture with his hand making it obvious that Kurt had run out of this and had to turn it over? Kurt could tell this was going to get. Maybe his plan was to make Kurt so frustrated that he yelled at him.

"Okay well that is good. If you want to get better then that mean you are already half way there. So often I get kids who are being forced by their parents to change their behaviour and that takes ten times as long."

This went on for five-ish minutes until he stopped asking questions and got out some questionnaires for Kurt to fill out. He filled them out in silence while Mr Peirce watched him, every now and then making a note on his clipboard. The scratching of the pen always caused Kurt to stop and look up. He hated being watched like this.

After what seemed like ages there was a knock on the door and Lucy walked in.

"Ah lovely. Take a seat. Now I need to talk to you about Kurt and his homework and also about how we plan to go ahead as I am sure you want to get him back in school."

Lucy nodded but said, "No. The focus is not getting him back to school. The focus is getting him better and happy." For the possibly millionth time so far Kurt thanked the fact that Lucy had come into his life. He honestly did not know what he would do without her. Mr Peirce seemed quite happy with her answer too.

"I think that is a great attitude to take towards this. And Kurt it is important not to see this as the end of the world but as a small hurdle you have to overcome. Now it is obvious that the trauma that Kurt experienced during his attack is mostly to blame for his lack of speech. There are possible repressed memories that are locked away with his speech and that we will have to fully explore what happened that night and bring that back so that we can try and figure it out. I know that will be hard but I can't see a way to do this without it as they seem so obviously linked. So we are going to start with that and if it doesn't work then we are going to try something else but I think that is first: Getting that incident out of the way. Then we need to talk about your father and mother and what happened there. Now Lucy it is crucial that you give your full support because this is going to be a very hard and emotional journey as his problem is so locked up with all this emotional trauma. If you do have any questions just ask. With me so far?

"Sounds like you have a good plan"

_ I want to get better _was all Kurt wrote.

"Okay now for the homework. I don't want you gesturing or using you physical body to communicate I want everything written as that is closer to real speech. I don't know if you have tried this or not but I want you to try talking to yourself. That is going to be the first step: Getting you to talk out loud when you are with yourself. I suggest that Lucy, you give him half an hour at home each day where he is alone so that he can just sit and try okay. But Kurt, don't beat yourself up if we don't get this straight away. This is a process. And it will take as long as it takes no point in rushing it. I do feel confident that you can do this Kurt. You are completely capable. Any questions."

Nobody said anything.

"Okay so I will see you next week and I will do my best to be on time. Things like today don't usually happen."

_Goodbye. Thanks._

Kurt handed him the piece of paper and he smiled, "see you next time kid."

"Thank you for your time Mr Peirce." Said Lucy.

Lucy followed Kurt out of the door. Once they got out to the car she pulled him into a hug and was shocked when he gripped her hard and properly hugged her back for the first time.

"Let's go get some ice-cream. You can drive." She said handing him the keys.

The face of that guy in the passenger seat floated in and out of Kurt's mind all evening. It wasn't until he went to sleep and had a dream of the two of them sitting in a coffee shop on what could only be described as a date that he woke with a jolt.

That guy.

That guy from the coffee shop.

Who brought him a coffee.

Anderson. That was his name.

...

...

...

Blaine Anderson.


	14. Chapter 14

All Kurt could focus on was the fact that he was going back to see Mr Pierce tomorrow and he had achieved nothing. Nothing at all. He was standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom mouthing the words "Kurt Hummel" His name, For Christ's sake every child who could talk knew their name. Kurt Hummel. KURT HUMMEL. Inside he was screaming it, willing it to come out of his mouth.

'Stop Kurt, Relax,' he told himself. 'You will not do well getting over stressed. Just try your best.' After half an hour he wasn't getting anywhere. He was frustrated, beyond frustrated. He just gave up and decided to go and read. Lucy had many amazing books on the massive bookshelf in her room and she had told him to close his eyes and pick one. He ended up with "Perfume: story of a murderer" and was already re-reading it, after all you can't just read a book once.

Soon there was a quiet knock on his door and Lucy popped her head it.

"Any progress?" She asked hesitantly.

Kurt shook his head. She came in and sat down on his bed. Kurt sat up so he was sitting next to her. He tilted his head to rest it on her shoulder.

"It's okay Kurt, you'll get it eventually. You and a smart and strong person who can get through it. If you ever need anything just ask me okay?" There was a small silence. Both of them were just enjoying the fact that they had each other. "Come on lets go make some dinner." Lucy said eventually, breaking the silence.

xxx

Kurt's session had gone well. They had talked through that night some more and Kurt felt that while he wasn't ready to yet he was definitely closer to accepting what had happened and moving on. He felt okay. He felt like he was making progress. He just wished that Lucy wasn't late to pick him up. He hated waiting all alone.

A car pulled up making Kurt hopeful, but it was only that boy from last week and his brother. The two of them rushed inside, the elder apologising for being late and then saying goodbye to his brother. He turned around to walk out and he glanced at Kurt, which caused him to dramatically stop in his tracks.

"Do I know you?" He enquired, taking a step closer.

Kurt wasn't even sure of the answer to that. Technically yes but no, no not really.

There was an awkward silence

"Mr Anderson," the receptionist said, "can you come here for a second?"

Blaine walked over to her and she whispered something to him. Kurt knew what she was saying, something along the lines of don't bother he won't talk to you. Oh well. Kurt saw Lucy pull up and felt relieved. He had been slightly worried she had forgotten about him, no matter how stupid that sounded. He turned to the door to leave when Blaine drew up to his side. "May I walk you out to your car?"He asked before sweeping in front of Kurt and bowing as he held the door open. Kurt could hardly say no and so he and Blaine strode along, side by side, in silence. When they got to the car Blaine stopped and said "Your chariot sir." Before doing a ridiculous bow causing Kurt to snigger. "Well maybe I will see you next week. I must drive home now. Can you believe my Mum actually let me drive her car? I mean yes it was only because she was too busy with work to take Harry here but still! Anyway I am keeping you so Goodbye Mysterious yet Familiar stranger. Until next time." He said winking before walking off to his own car.

Kurt slid into the front seat and looked over to Lucy who had her eyebrows raised.

"Who was that?" She said mischievously. Kurt just shrugged. "Sure sure." She said before pulling out of the parking lot. Blaine waved as they pulled away causing Kurt to smile nervously.

"You totally like him." Lucy said. "You should try and get his number. Then you can text him and figure out if he is gay." Kurt just rolled his eyes. "What he's cute?" She said faking offence causing Kurt to let out a barely audible laugh.

"I like it when you laugh. Have you noticed that you are laughing more and laughing a bit louder lately? Maybe that is the first step." She finished. Kurt realised he had never thought of it that way, maybe making some noise was better than making none at all. In that moment he promised himself that he would make an effort to laugh audibly more often.

xxx

Kurt was getting bored. Lying on his bed, too lazy to go and turn the light off after another of the same dull, monochromatic day's he had been having for the past two weeks. He wasn't at school because he hadn't been cleared for it yet and there was only so long he could spend re-watching his favourite tv shows online and reading before it started to get tiresome. He was tempted to call up his old friends but he just didn't want the guilt that would be associated with them. He had pulled out of the glee club and they didn't have enough people to perform in showchoir competition. They couldn't even compete and Kurt was to blame. He knew he was to blame because Rachel had yelled at him furiously over facebook. He deleted his account. He knew he was a coward but he didn't want to feel worse about himself.

He wished he could go to school so he would have some friends but he knew he wasn't ready. Lucy did her best to get him out of the house and help him run errands but they had done so much pointless shopping that between the two of them they probably owned one of every good looking thing in every store in the area.

All of this had been playing on his mind throughout the week and mixing with thoughts of Blaine. He had a cell phone. He could get Blaine's number if he wanted to. Couldn't he? Maybe. Of course. Possibly.

Damn Lucy for putting ideas in his head. Anyway Blaine probably wouldn't even be there again. He was probably just going to stress over it and then Blaine wouldn't even be there.

But then what if he did. What if Blaine gave him his number and then they started texting. What if they started dating and then Blaine would introduced Kurt to his friends as Kurt, my boyfriend,. Kurt imagined him and Blaine getting in a relationship. Being all cute and talking over texts because Kurt was still struggling with speech, having lots of quiet time staring into each other's eyes when they were alone together while Kurt continued to work on his speaking with his doctor. When he was able to talk again he would look in to Blain's eyes and his first words to Blaine would be 'I love you'. Blaine would be so happy that his eyes would get slightly teary before he leaned in for a kiss. Then he would slightly pull away and whisper "I love you too" before kissing him again, pushing him down to the ground and-

Kurt shook his head. That was stupid. There was no way that would ever happen. Blaine was just being friendly. He already had a messed up brother why would he want to have a messed up boyfriend too. Wow, Kurt stopped, he was thinking of himself as someone's boyfriend. Not a few months ago he was telling Mercedes that he was in love with Rachel because he was too scared of the truth. If only his father could- no NO no. He would not, could not, think of that.

Kurt frowned and got up to turn off the light. Once back in bed his frown quickly turned into a small smile as his head filled with images of Blaine and him together.

Xxx

Mr Peirce was proud of Kurt's progress. He was so close to be able to talk to himself that he knew he would be able to do it within a week or two. Kurt hadn't been this optimistic in ages. Mr Peirce just had this positive energy that you couldn't help but feed off of.

Kurt walked out of the room and was slightly happy to look out to the parking lot and see Lucy wasn't there and Blaine was walking towards him. Blaine smiled when he saw him, making Kurt's heart skip a beat. No, no, no. He could not think of him like that... not yet at least.

Blaine said goodbye to his brother and then walked over to Kurt.

"Hi." He said with a cheeky grin, "I know where I remember you from. The coffee shop that day. I never would forget a face as gorgeous as yours." He smiled. That was flirting. That had to be flirting. He had to be gay or why would he be talking like that. Plus, Kurt vaguely remembered that his friend was trying to convince him to look Blaine up on facebook. Kurt realised he had been standing there staring at Blaine so he smiled and just waved. He didn't bring paper with him because Mr Peirce always had some and he just went straight home. He nervously bit his lip, trying to come up with an appropriate way to respond.

"Oh don't worry I know that you can't talk. But I mean I swear I remember you talking in the coffee shop, you tried to stop me paying for your coffee. So this must be a recent and- sorry I don't mean to pry I just think it is an amazing coincidence that here you are again." There was a slightly awkward pause as Kurt smiled and tried to hid his excitement at the fact that Blaine had even remembered him.

"I want to know your name. But, I don't want you to write it down, that seems impersonal. I'll find out somehow," All of a sudden he lowered his voice and sounded slightly nervous, "Can I walk you to your car again?" He asked. Kurt looked around and realised that Lucy had pulled up without him noticing. Blaine was so mesmerising. Quickly Kurt nodded and Blaine held out his arm. Kurt hesitantly slid his arm through Blaine's and they walked outside together.

When they got to Lucy's car Kurt slipped his arm out, nodded and smiled. He went to turn away but Blaine grabbed him by the arm and stopped him. "Look I know we hardly know each other but I can't believe that this is coincidence. Can I... I mean would I maybe be able to get your number or... No wait forget I asked it's stupid, sorry." But Kurt just held out his and Blaine hesitantly reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Kurt put his number into in under the name, Hansom Stranger and quickly gave it back before he chickened out and put something more appropriate in.

"Wow I, Wow thanks. Sorry I don't normally get this nervous. I'll uhm. I'll text you maybe. No I will, soon, uhm... see you next week." He said, walking off and waving. Kurt's heart hammering away, his cheeks flushed red.

**A/N: yeah I know this is a weirdly spaced chapter but I just wanted to shove in as much Blaine as I could (sorry I'm not sorry) **

**Anyway feedback is always welcome, let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, etc. **

**Thanks to Jenna (JMarieAllenPoe) for reminding me to write, I get so busy i just forget to make the time, it is much appreciated**

**Kay thanks bye**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Arguh sorry guys but all these chapters with kurt and blaine are so hard to write cuz they just get so out of hand that they are already announcing their love to eachother and we can't have that now can we?! Also ugh texting sucks I don't know how little numbers was written but ugh it sucks.**

Kurt tried to go about the rest of the evening as normally as possible. That was rather hard when literally every five seconds he felt the urge to pull his phone out and check it. It was on silent, set to vibrate. But what if he didn't feel it, or it just didn't vibrate, or just... what if. He wished he could put it on loud but then Lucy would know when he got a text. And Every time he did look at his phone Lucy would grin a little if she caught him looking at it. There was only so many times he could pretend to be checking the time, which made him determined not to keep pulling it out.

Kurt checked his phone again.

Nothing.

He sighed slightly, put his phone away and turned back to the stove. He was trying so hard not to get his hopes up but how could he not when some hansom stranger had asked for his number. This continued about every 30 seconds until finally dinner was ready, and somehow miraculously not ruined. Kurt had just finished his first bite when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He went to reach for it then remembered that he was at dinner; he didn't want to be rude.

That was possibly the slowest and most painful dinner that Kurt had ever had to sit through. Normally he and Lucy would slowly eat dinner whilst she talked and told him about things and he did his best to respond but tonight he wolfed his food down and then sat the hesitantly, waiting until he was finished. To make matters worse it was his night to do the dishes.

What if Blaine thought he was ignoring him, or that Kurt had given him a fake number. Kurt's hand moved subconsciously to his pocket right as it vibrated again. He bit his lip. Lucy looked at him slightly confused and then seemed to realise what was going on.

"Go on. I'll do the dishes tonight." She smiled

Kurt leapt up and launched himself at her, smothering her in a hug before sprinting off upstairs to his room. It didn't even bother him when she started laughing loudly as he ran away. As he sprinted up the stairs he tried to get his phone out and paid dearly when it dropped on the floor causing him precious seconds as he leant down to pick it up.

As soon as he got into his room sat down on the floor, leaning against his closed door.

_From Blaine: Hi, Mysterious Stranger. This is Blaine, you know the guy who walks you to your car. Hi._

Then another one.

_From Blaine: Hello?_

Kurt grinned, a genuine grin of happiness. He couldn't help himself. Blaine had texted him. Blaine had chosen to text him. And he was so adorable. Kurt quickly replied.

_From Kurt: Hello Blaine. Sorry I was having dinner with Lucy... but Hi._

Kurt sat there nervously looking at his phone. 'What if Blaine had given up and gone and done something else. What if'- Kurt's thoughts were cut off as his phone vibrated again.

_From Blaine: Oh cool. I was slightly worried that you were ignoring me. So many questions to be asked now that we can "talk" but first and foremost, the one raised by your previous text; Lucy? She one of your friends or...?_

Oh shit, Kurt thought, it was already getting awkward. There was no way Kurt was ready to even begin to talk about that whole drama with Blaine, he was still working through it with his therapist. Now the question was awkwardly change the topic or explain what he could and risk sounding more insane.

_From Kurt: Uh no. She is my ... guardian I guess you would call her. It's a long story, maybe some other time. Anyway can I say how weird it is to be talking to you? I mean not that we are talking but wow it has been so long since I have spoken to someone. _

Kurt was holding his breath. What if Blaine wanted to know or just thought he was insane and fucked up. Oh god he had already ruined it.

_From Blaine: Okay. Well I can do long stories but I fully respect your privacy. Speaking of talking (hahaha) what does your voice sound like? I don't really remember it. I mean I remember meeting you in that coffee shop that day but I don't remember much else about you. But I am sure you spoke. Didn't you? Or am I just making this up in my head. It was a long time ago and that was a pretty long day for me._

Wow. Blaine was perfect. So polite.

_From Kurt: Thank you, so much. I have to confess that question makes me blush. Uhm high. Really high. Like soprano high. Yeah we did kind of briefly talk when I tried not to take your money for a coffee but you charmed me into letting you have your way. Long day?_

_From Blaine: Oh you sing? Are you good? Yeah that was the first time I was hanging out with those guys. I had just moved schools and was so worried about making friends but those guys invited me out for coffee and we had a really fun day and now we are friends. That is actually why I am so interested in you singing, see they are all in their glee club and they want me to join but I have never really sung before. I mean I sing in my shower, everyone does, but not in public. Wow this text got long fast._

_From Kurt: Yeah, funnily enough I was in my old school's glee club, so yeah I am good I guess. Thats nice that they did that. I ... I don't go to school now for obvious reasons but when I do go to a new school, once I can talk again, I am so nervous that I won't make any friends. My track record ain't so good._

_From Blaine: What was it like? Was it fun? Was it hard? I am sure you will be fine. Well depending on what school you should go to. Dalton Academy is great because everyone is so friendly but the tuition is pretty steep. I don't know what your situation is but if you can come you should. I am assuming you live in the area because you see Mr Peirce of course. Well I want to be friends with you, that wasn't a hard decision at all._

Blaine wanted to be his friend. Was that freindzoning already? But he was interested in him for some bizarre reason. Oh well it's not like Kurt was even ready for any type of committed relationship given that he was yet to master the art of friendship.

_From Kurt: It was... okay. We were all too different and when I ... left there weren't enough people so they are kind of over now but there were some good times and some good singers. We were just the unpopular losers really. I have never heard of that place. You new school I presume? _

_From Blaine: The Warblers are like rock stars at Dalton. Yes it is. It is wonderful. Amazing. I cannot give it high enough praise for making me feel safe and able to be who I am without feeling judged by people. Everyone there loves it. The other guys say their only complaint is that it is an all boys school, but luckily that is not an issue for me._

_From Kurt: Wow! Really, that is amazing. Sigh. This school sounds so perfect. Well I have no plans to go to school yet and because I am having so much time off I will probably have to repeat sophomore year but when I do plan to go back I will be sure to come to you for information. Hehehe That would not be a problem for me either. _

_From Blaine: It truly is. I will be happy to give you the grand tour J. You are a sophomore? I am still a freshmen but hey if you repeat then we would even be in the same year together. I mean I am actually repeating freshmen year because of my incident. So if you came to Dalton then you would already have a friend before you even got there. _

_From Kurt: I would absolutely love that. Oh okay. Wow so you are in the same situation as me. No wonder I feel so trusting of you. ... You already consider me a friend? _

_From Blaine: Deal. It is pretty obvious that we have both been through some adverse times recentishly but you know what we are here now and that is all that matters. Well I barely know you but already I just feel some weird connection to you. It's like I knew you in another life or something. Sorry, that sounds so corny but it is true. Anyway to get back to what I was saying I can see us becoming fast friends. That is if you want to. _

_From Kurt: True. How are you so optimistic. I mean I am all doom and gloom but you only seem to see the bright side. I wish I could be more like that. I think I know what you mean. I kinda feel like we were meant to meet. Blaine, I am friendless and alone, of course I would love to be your friend. _

All of a sudden Lucy knocked at the door pulling Kurt out of the daze he was in.

"Kurt honey I know you are texting him and that this is good for you but I would like you to get some sleep please okay? Five more minutes, then lights out."

Kurt nodded.

_From Blaine: You will be too. I went to Mr Pierce too and over time he can really change your outlook on life, I still see him once every three weeks just to check up on things. He really is one of the best. I am glad you understand and that I don't sound crazy. You are not alone. You have me now. I will make sure you are never alone. _

_From Kurt: That explains why you don't think I am some psychopathic freak, most people wouldn't make friends at a therapists office. Really? He is really good, I really think he will help me in the long run. I just need more time. Awww Blaine. Thank you so much. You are so kind. Look I have to go to sleep now so uhm I'll text you later okay? I mean tomorrow. If that's okay. _

_From Blaine: Of course you are not. You have just obviously been through some shit in your life but it is not your fault and you don't deserve it. You deserve to be happy. You are welcome. Anything I can do to help. J. I am supposed to be asleep already too, I have to admit that I am texting under my duvet right now so shhh don't tell anyone. Of course, you can text me whenever you want, Goodnight Hansom, mysterious Stanger. _

_From Kurt: Goodnight Blaine. _

Kurt put his phone on his nightstand and turned off the lights. He quickly fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**A/N: Weee I did it. Damn that was hard. Anyway let me know your thoughts/critique etc. Etc. Etc. I used the froms so it was easy to follow and I hoped nobody got confused of anything. Also not trying to copy little numbers or anything just they need to talk don't they? But yeah hopefully we will get some proper talking soon. Yaaay Klaine WOOOO Yeah... BYEEEEEEEEE**

**Also Sigh Darren going on tour but only to the US! Sigh. I hate living in NZ nothing interesting ever happens here.**


	16. Chapter 16

Lucy could see the difference in Kurt as the week progressed. He was always grinning, not just flashes of a grin when she made a joke or anything like that but a near constant grin from ear to ear. He was just more active, happier. Though she was terrified of how big his phone bill was going to be with the seemingly constant texting she just knew it was worth it. He was even playing music again. Nothing made her happier to walk past his room and hear whatever the latest pop songs were blasting from him room. However it also brought to her attention how zombie like he had been before. She had thought he was getting on okay and he had definitely been more relaxed after the first week but it was now so obvious that he was just floating through life. Now it was like a light had been lit behind those beautiful blue eyes. Now he was alive.

She could tell he was bursting at the seams with things to say. He wanted to talk about Blaine and everything going on but he got so frustrated with how long it took to write things down and how broken up their conversations became because of it. She hoped that all of these frustrations would somehow work in a positive way to make him talk. She just wanted him to be better. He needed to be able to go to school and socialize. Even with Blaine to text he was lonely and bored.

It was so hard not to vent her frustration on him but their relationship was still delicate and if he reacted negatively then things would just get awkward. If only her husband were still around to be a father figure for him. He really needed someone like that now that his own father has been such an asshole.

Mr Pierce noticed the change in Kurt too. He seemed very pleased that Kurt had retained seemed happy and far more optimistic. He was even more confident than before that Kurts breakthrough would be happening sometime in the next few weeks. Kurt walked out of a relatively good therapy session feeling happy only to become elated when he saw Blaine standing there smiling.

"Hi." Blaine said walking up to him. He hesitated and then pulled him into a quick hug. "How are you?"

Kurt grinned in answer

"Listen I need your help. Desperately. Please. I will do anything to pay you back."

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Glee club. I told you about it right? My audition is tomorrow and I am freaking out. I need someone who will be honest to tell me if I am actually doing okay and could maybe be considered as being good enough to get in. Because I honestly am full of self doubt right now. Pleassssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I was going to be polite and ask you if you wanted to go get coffee today but this is really important." He begged, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

Kurt rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yayyyyy." He hugged him again, "Okay well I thought that if it was okay with you that we could get Lucy...?" Kurt nodded, "to drop us round at my place and then you could watch me practice and tell me if I am as terrible as I am worried that I am. My parents will be out for the next hour so you don't have to worry about meeting them. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, of course this all up to you, only come if you want to."

Kurt held his hand up to stop Blaine from rambling and nodded.

"Yes? My House?"

Kurt nodded again.

"Yaaaaayyyy. You are the best. Okay lets go beg a lift off of Lucy." He grabbed Kurt's hand and, half running, dragged him out to where Lucy was waiting in the car, Kurt giggling the entire way.

Lucy rolled down the cars window as they approached.

"Hello my name is Blaine you must be Lucy." He said, extending his hand.

Lucy took it and said, "Nice to meet you Blaine." Grinning from ear to ear.

"Look I really need to borrow Kurt for an hour or so, so that I can use his knowledge and skills to perfect my singing. I also would request a ride, from you, to my house so that we can practice there. Is... is that okay or...?"

Lucy's face fell; something that Kurt was not expecting.

"Look I don't know if he is ready for this. I hardly know you and neither does he."

"Please Lucy."

She looked to Kurt who grinned hopefully. Lucy deliberated for a short while and then finally "Okay but only as long as I drop him off and pick him up within the hour. If you dare to do anything that will make him feel uncomfortable. If you force him to talk or pressure him then I will come after you okay. He does not need more pressure especially from a peer."

"Of course not. I respect the difficulties he has and would never dream of pressuring him. Yay. Thank you so much." He said, leaning down and planting a kiss on her cheek. He opened the back door of her car and gestured for Kurt to get in then shut the door and went around to the other side to sit next to Kurt.

It was a slightly awkward but thankfully short drive to Blaine's house. Kurt was delighted to find out how close together they lived. He was still not quite familiar with this area but as far as he knew this was only about 15 minutes from his house by car, maybe 20.

Blaine grew more nervous as they neared his house. What was he doing? He had just invited an almost stranger to hear him sing. He had never sung in front of anyone before. Why did he trust this, admittedly hansom, boy so much? He looked over and saw Kurt grinning and relaxed. It was going to be fine. Kurt was a great guy who would be kind but truthful.

The car pulled up to a massive mansion, bigger than Lucy's house. Lucy pulled up to the gate and stopped.

"Okay so if you need me to come earlier text me. Otherwise I will be back in exactly an hour. ... Blaine, are your parents home?"

"No ma'am. I thought it would be better for Kurt if he didn't have to deal with new people... is that okay?"

Lucy pursed her lips and then nodded. "I am trusting you, okay Blaine. See you in an hour. Bye"

Kurt and Blaine got out of the car and waved as she backed out and drove off. Blaine keyed the code into the gate and then grabbed Kurt by the hand and walked him up the driveway.

Blaine was pacing across his living room. Kurt sat in the middle of the couch. Feet together and hands clasped together on his legs. He felt tense from being in such an unfamiliar environment.

"Okay okay. I can do this. Okay. Come on Blaine. Sorry I am just really nervous. I just. Ugh. We have to audition without instruments. And I started practising with the piano before they told me that. And just. Ugh. Sorry." He came to a stop and looked at Kurt, a worried, apologetic look on his face.

Kurt took out his phone and texted him. _How about we start with the piano and work our way to solo._

Blaine nodded and then strode off. Kurt quickly got off the couch and followed him. He found Blaine already sitting at a lovely black baby grand piano. He looked so poised and calm sitting there as opposed to how he looked in the living room. Kurt shut the door behind them and then walked over towards him as Blaine started playing. He drew to a stop next to him just as Blaine started singing.

Kurt's jaw dropped.

How had Blaine even questioned how good he was? How had he even doubted himself? His voice was perfect. Amazing. Kurt could not find a single fault. He stopped thinking and just started listening. He let Blaine's voice fill his thoughts. Everything else just melted away. Blaine could play so well that his voice and the piano blended together in a smooth melody that took his breath away. When he got to the chorus he turned his head towards were Kurt was standing and grinned nervously, before turning his focus back to the piano. He was playing it slowly with so much passion. The world seemed to narrow so that it was just the two of them, stuck in that moment.

When Blaine finally stopped he turned around to Kurt.  
"So how was it?" He asked hesitantly.

Kurt instantly replied, "Perfect."

**A/N: Oooohh minor cliffhanger. what will happen next. ooohhhhh**


End file.
